value-wipe

when you blow your nose on a piece of tissue and then wipe your ass with the same tissue.
Devon was running low on cash, so when he had diarrhea during allergy season, he had to value-wipe to get by.
by bjergen August 11, 2006
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boner bender

An event that ruins a metaphorical erection.
Billy: "You know I go crazy for gumballs man. Well, last easter, I found this egg-shaped piece of candy. I was pretty sure it was a gumball. When I bit into it, though, it was one of those fucking repulsive malt balls! My quaff was so loud that my neighbor called the cops. Those bastards at the malt ball factory always pull that shit."

Darrel: "Talk about a boner bender man. Let's go buy some gumballs"
by bjergen May 09, 2007
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quaff

quaff (kwaaff) - The revolting burp one has just before vomit spews from one's esophagus, at which point one knows there is no turning back (Here come da puke).
She could not hold it any longer. A deafening quaff rumbled her entrails like rolling thunder. In a split second her jaw shot down and her tongue stuck out as an ocean of scotch and macaroni spewed from her esophagus, filling her mouth. She tried to contain it, but with each heave, more vomit spewed from her lips and onto her guests. No, Hillary Rodham Clinton would not be winning the presidency this year.
by bjergen July 17, 2006
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TBM

Brian likes red bull, but he won't drink coffee what a TBM.
by bjergen September 29, 2011
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TBM

True Blue Mormon; member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints; momo; LDS
Gerald won't drink coffee and can't wait to get his own planet. Dangit, he's a TBM.
by bjergen September 29, 2011
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Leadershit

Chaotic, worthless leadership. Often occurring in less desirable environments in which power-hungry idiots assume positions of leadership.
I think we'd all be better off without Bill's leadershit. He's a raging idiot. Hour for hour, he makes less than he did when scrubbed toilets. Now he gets off on telling us what to do. Pass the plunger.
by bjergen February 27, 2007
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fart resin

The leftover microscopic particles of feces left in the threads of bed sheets, seat cushions, and clothing as a result of flatus being filtered through them.
The threads from Mr. Belvedere's car seats emitted a repugnant funk. Little did he know, the source of it was his own unrelenting flatus. His fart resin lingered in the deepest darkest threads of the upholstery of his Ford Taurus, further damaging the resale value.
by Bjergen April 16, 2007
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