Blarmey: (adjective) combination of
blarney and
smarmy, used to describe a person who considers himself silver-tongued and compelling, but in reality oozes charm in the same way a slug or a festering pustule might. Probably developed this trait from kissing the Blarney Stone after the tour guides surreptitiously pissed on it.
(verb) An imperative pun used to call someone out on this trait.
1. “Ugh, that guy trying to bend my ear about his band is just so blarmey!”
2. “I’m not falling for your bullshit! So why don’t you just blarmey?”
(verb) to give
unsolicited advice to a resident of a high-risk area for
hurricanes, especially while said weather is impending or happening. This is most often perpetrated by individuals who have had no experience with said weather themselves.
“Don’t forget to keep three days’ worth of fresh water, and make sure to evacuate if necessary...”
“Dude! I’ve lived in New Orleans for over twenty years! Stop trying to hurrisplain me!”
A trait in which people are so holier-than-thou, they can’t endure soiling their hands with anything that falls outside their fanatical religious beliefs.
“Wow, that
preacher dude wouldn’t even touch my band’s CD because the cover was red and black, which he says are the colors of
Satan!
“You know that guy is totally angel retentive.”
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The phenomenon in which you expect to see Bernie Sanders in every image you encounter.
“That was just a photo of a symphony from a couple of years ago, but I kept thinking Bernie Sanders was in there. Clearly it’s Berneidolia.”
A portmanteau of the German words for “happy” and “dread.” Cautious optimism while awaiting near-certain fuckery.
“I need to drink at least three beers before watching the election results. The glücklichfürchten is too much for me to endure.”
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The physical and psychological weariness that comes from multiple emergency evacuations, such as from six hurricanes hitting the gulf coast in a single season.
“You need to get yourselves up here now!”
“Thank you, but we’re not even in the hurricane’s path anymore, and we have too much evacuation fatigue to spend sixteen hours behind the wheel.”
Buy a
evacuation fatigue
mug!
I could barely stomach reading that post about how vaccines cause the earth to flatten, and now I’m just wound up with parannoya.
