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Argonak's definitions

Judas Chair

This torture device, also known as the Judas Cradle, was implimented often by the Spanish Inquisition.

The victim was hoisted up by a rope and forced to sit on top of a pyramid shaped device, thereby causing rectal trauma of several kinds.
I heard that homosexuals find the Judas Chair quite pleasurefull...
by Argonak April 12, 2008
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Heretic's Fork

noun:

A medieval torture device which consisted of a two-sided fork which would be strapped to the victims neck so that any movement of the jaw caused extreme pain.

The victim was then forced to say the word "abiuro" which is latin for "I recant" or else they were hung or burned at the stake.

This device qualifies as a funkatron.
Tom: "I don't really think that god exists..."

Bill: "STFU or Im gonna tell the pope and he will strap a Heretic's Fork to your neck!"

Tom: "..."
by Argonak April 12, 2008
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dominatrix midget

noun:
1. A midget who is also a dominatrix.

As seen on Jerry Springer:

The midget named Thor enters with his host of various bondage apparatus.
#1:
Rodion: "Travis is a midget who likes bondage."

Steve: "So he is a dominatrix midget?"

Rodion: "Yes."

#2:
"My name is Thor" - Dominatrix Midget Thor
by Argonak April 11, 2008
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Backdoor Pirate

noun:

1. A pirate whose preferred method of pillaging is though the backdoor.

2. Someone who engages in the giving of anal sex.

3. A common name for a hypothetical homosexual piece of pornography. However there is no evidence to suggest that there is either a movie or a magazine which has the words "Backdoor Pirate" anywhere in it.
#1:
Rodion: "I am a backdoor pirate."

Sarah: "Eeek!"

#2:
Joey: "HAahah I bet your dad stars in Backdoor Pirates 7!"

Rodion: "You fucktard...there's no such thing!"
by Argonak April 12, 2008
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funkatron

noun:

1. Something "funky" or "strange". Often used to describe an item with a purpose which is unknown or mysterious.

2. Occasionaly used to describe a person who exhibits "funky" or "strange" qualities.
#1:

Rodion pulls out a speculum.

Phil: "What is that funkatron?"

Rodion: "Let me show you..."
by Argonak April 11, 2008
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dominatrix midget

noun:
1. A midget who is also a dominatrix.

As seen on Jerry Springer:

The midget named Thor enters with his host of various bondage apparatus.
#1:
Rodion: "Travis is a midget who likes bondage."

Steve: "So he is a dominatrix midget?"

Rodion: "Yes."

#2:
"My name is Thor" - Dominatrix Midget Thor
by Argonak April 11, 2008
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shit battle

History:
A direct derivative of piss battle. This type of battle was created when two piss battle combatants had a draw...that is, both bladders were burst. Neither contestant wanted to cease the battle so they decided to join their rectums in order to have a battle of the anal muscles.

1. The combatants join their anal cavities together and after forming an leaktight seal begin to push the defecate between eachother. These battles are often ended once one of the combatants has emptied their body of all defecate. At this moment the combatant may disconnect their anus from their opponent and claim victory.
Shit battles are epic.

Shit battles do not cause cancer.
by Argonak April 13, 2008
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