Definitions by Anonymous submissions
Epping carnage poo
The official name for the London party borough of Epping, so named because the nightlife there is so wild that even the most reluctant of participants will inevitably lose their shit as the night progresses
'Jesus Christ almighty, what the fuck happened last night? Looks like the Epping carnage poo struck again because I've not only got memory loss but I also appear to have shat the bed. I say shat but it could be Nutella. (sniffs brown stain in question). Nope, it's definitely shit.'
Epping carnage poo by Anonymous submissions January 7, 2017
Defecate deficit
Constipated or bunged up.
'Dude, this defecate deficit is still going strong- I've eaten a kilo of prunes and still no joy. The poor toilet is going to look like Hiroshima when it does finally come. Desperate times require desperate measures so I'm thinking I probably need to gouge it out with a long narrow implement. That reminds me, you should buy a new toothbrush..'
Defecate deficit by Anonymous submissions January 4, 2017
Labia lady tonight
The original title for the Frank Sinatra classic; 'Luck, be a lady tonight.' The title was changed after producers found that focus groups struggled to relate to lyrics about a woman comprised almost entirely of cuntflaps.
Frank (singing in studio): 'Labia lady tonight, your beef curtains gave me a fright'
Producer: 'Ahhh, Frank, those lyrics really aren't doing it for me- I think fans will struggle to relate to a woman with engorged labia'
Frank: (farts disapprovingly)
Producer: 'Ahhh, Frank, those lyrics really aren't doing it for me- I think fans will struggle to relate to a woman with engorged labia'
Frank: (farts disapprovingly)
Labia lady tonight by Anonymous submissions December 31, 2016
Standard deviantAsian
A slant (pun intended) on the traditional statistical feature of standard deviation whereby the sexual deviance levels of an Asian male can be predicted by positive linear equation, as they are largely constant
'What is it about being a standard deviantAsian? Here I was minding my own business enjoying a spot of inoccuous Japanese porn in the work toilet cubicle on my lunch break when the whole thing inevitably descended into a bukkake fest. It was terribly off-putting. Those crazy Asians like filth nearly as much as they like rice and foot binding'
Standard deviantAsian by Anonymous submissions December 30, 2016
Turbo mega cunt fucked
To get so heavily intoxicated that the participant's position on the space time continuum becomes fluid as he/she 'crosses over.'
Often associated with a complete blurring of the lines between life and death, gay and straight, able bodied and paralysed, and continent and not.
Often associated with a complete blurring of the lines between life and death, gay and straight, able bodied and paralysed, and continent and not.
'Bro, I definitely won the 'drunkest man in Europe' award last night- I was so turbo mega cunt fucked that I crossed-over and woke up in a chicken coop felching a shop mannequin. The only thing that's going to shift this hangover is a masturbaywatch. Now, want to help me fuck this mannequin?'
Turbo mega cunt fucked by Anonymous submissions December 13, 2016
Masturbaker's dozen
The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.
'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'
Masturbaker's dozen by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016
Masturbaywatch
'So I was having a masturbaywatch to Pamela Anderson last night when, on the vinegar strokes, the camera panned to David Hasselhoff. As I understand, this now means that I must be a raging homosexual. Do you know where I can catch a matinee of 'Mamma Mia' and follow it up with some good old-fashioned sodomy so as to assimilate effectively with my newfound kin?'
Masturbaywatch by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016