31 definitions by Anonymous submissions
A full-blown, several-sandwiches-short-of-a-picnic specialist whose mental retardation is so debilitatingly extreme that they are forced to live in the backyard. This living arrangement is usually necessitated by the high risk of poisoning through licking the toxic cleaning products off the windows, should said backyard spactard remain indoors.
Liverpool put in a good showing in the Champion's League Final the other night. If it hadn't been for Karius goalkeeping like a backyard spactard, they might have won the game. I knew he'd be shit the day he signed for the club using his favourite crayon..
by Anonymous submissions July 19, 2018
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When a woman decides to abstain from sausage and become a vaginatarian, or when a homosexual male sees the light at the end of the tunnel (pun intended) and reverts to penetrating front bums.
'So I went muff diving on my friend Karen yesterday after the Madonna concert and I have to say, it was delightful; I'm cuntverted. Now the bullies can't call me 'Johnny Johnny fat gay twat' anymore, for as of today I am 'Johnny Johnny fat heterosexual twat with fabulous dress sense''
by Anonymous submissions March 09, 2017
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Similar to an unauthorised day in lieu, where one spends the day in a work cubicle playing phone games, searching for porn and thinking about urban dictionary definitions.
Boss: 'Are you taking another day in loo then, David?'
David: 'How'd you know, Boss?'
Boss: 'Partly because you missed the big meeting, but mainly cause you're absolutely covered in jizz, you reprobate'
David: 'How'd you know, Boss?'
Boss: 'Partly because you missed the big meeting, but mainly cause you're absolutely covered in jizz, you reprobate'
by Anonymous submissions May 13, 2019
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To break wind whilst being intimate with someone. The release of said gas is often associated with the other participant(s) in the sexual act discontinuing their participation.
''Well, looks like I'm on the hunt for a new girlfriend again. Susie and I were really connecting spiritually and emotionally during an extended Alabama lane change, but a better out than intimate squeezed its way out of my anüs as I was going for it and the gas has caused her to suffocate and die. If I'm being brutally honest, the initial chloroform might have been a culprit in the suffocation too.''
by Anonymous submissions August 07, 2018
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A specific style of the artistic technique of 'juxtaposition' whereby one of the contrasting images contains a vagina motif.
'The Guggenheim has an incredibly powerful Andy Warhole work on display called 'pooch in the cooch.' The juxtapussytion of putting a Doberman in a midget's vagina not only made an interesting statement on the modern existential dilemma, but also gave me a bone so hard a dog couldn't chew through it.'
by Anonymous submissions January 29, 2017
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The metabolic ability of a female (or raging tail gunner) to process nature's yoghurt i.e. a teaspoon of sperm cider
Beatrice: 'Jessica, darling you look absolutely divine- you must tell me your diet secret'
Jessica: 'Well Beatrice, I guess I was just thankfully born with a stupendous metabojism as I manage to stay wafer-thin despite smoking more Poles than Hitler did in all of Word War II'
Jessica: 'Well Beatrice, I guess I was just thankfully born with a stupendous metabojism as I manage to stay wafer-thin despite smoking more Poles than Hitler did in all of Word War II'
by Anonymous submissions July 23, 2018
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The original title for the Frank Sinatra classic; 'Luck, be a lady tonight.' The title was changed after producers found that focus groups struggled to relate to lyrics about a woman comprised almost entirely of cuntflaps.
Frank (singing in studio): 'Labia lady tonight, your beef curtains gave me a fright'
Producer: 'Ahhh, Frank, those lyrics really aren't doing it for me- I think fans will struggle to relate to a woman with engorged labia'
Frank: (farts disapprovingly)
Producer: 'Ahhh, Frank, those lyrics really aren't doing it for me- I think fans will struggle to relate to a woman with engorged labia'
Frank: (farts disapprovingly)
by Anonymous submissions December 30, 2016
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