Andos Hastos's definitions

Mud in the Nud

When you are taking a dump and your blood is boiling so much that you need to strip to bring your core temperature down to save you from passing out and causing undue embarrassment.

Max: “Jack what are you doing? Put your clothes back on while you are taking a shit!”
Jack: “I can’t help it. I’m so hot and sweaty that I feel like I’m gonna pass out.

Max: “At least close the door if your gonna dump a Mud in the Nud!”

by Andos Hastos January 11, 2022

The Charleton

A style of dance generally performed by an individual after dark. It is a convulsive full body thrust often accompanied with sweep the floor. If not done right, could cause serious harm to self and others.

Spike: “Hold my beer, it’s time!”.
Jade: “Do you think it’s a bit early? We haven’t even had dessert.”
Spike: “It’s never too early for the Charleton. Form a circle and Stand back”.

by Andos Hastos September 30, 2021

Stuck in the mud

When you are drunk and you’ve fucked up.

Karen; Who’s boat is this?
Jade: Oh you mean Mud Flaps. She’s ours. You’re a part owner. We bought it off Marketplace last night.
Karen: Oh fuck. You all got stuck in the mud last night!!

by Andos Hastos January 11, 2022

Mud slide

When you leave a tough mudder for too long and your shit starts running like the lava that killed millions in Pompeii.

Campbell: “Hey crystal, are you feeling ok?”
Crystal: “I don’t think so. I ate something last night that didn’t agree with me. I feel like im about to take a mud slide to the gates of hell!”

by Andos Hastos January 11, 2022

Sue on you

When you have cooious amounts of food on any part of your body.

Everybody: ‘You have sue on you.”
Mum: ‘Where?’ but then licks herself clean like a cat.

by Andos Hastos October 7, 2021

Kindle Shit

A visit to the lavatory made more comfortable by the use of a Kindle, resulting in an extended stay on the bowl, affecting all of your family members who are desperate to relieve themselves.

Sienna: Dad, can I please use your ensuite to go to the toilet? Paris is in ours.
Dad: Why? She won’t be long.
Sienna: Dad. She took in her kindle. She could be in there for days. I think she’s three chapters deep! It’s definitely a kindle shit.
Dad; Fine. We need to leave in an hour or so, I’ll go and tell Paris to snap it off.

by Andos Hastos December 24, 2021

Mud gloves

Protective equipment required when delivering your mud luggage.

Mitch: “Hey Eliza, how do you reckon I make sure I don’t get any shit on my hands when I go on the mud run?”
Eliza: “I would wear the mud gloves you packed, num nuts!”

by Andos Hastos January 14, 2022