Alex Stockwell's definitions

balloon dick

When your dick is small and pathetic looking in it's normal state, but when hard is like having a two by four in your pants.

I should let you know right now, I have a balloon dick.

by Alex Stockwell November 5, 2006

republicans

A bunch of mindless jerks who will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

Are you telling me you're one of those uptight, blood-sucking republicans? Get against the wall!

by Alex Stockwell November 25, 2006

cinematic justice warrior

Someone who obsesses over movies they don't like, to the point of making a personal crusade out of them. Often have an Objectivist view towards these movies, believing that everybody should hate them, and anyone who doesn't is clearly low on intelligence. CJW for short.

"Jesus Christ, now they're doing Aquaman? When are people gonna wake up to the fact that DC movies are fucking awful?"

"Okay, I'm going to shut you down right now, pal, because I have no patience for that cinematic justice warrior bullshit."

by Alex Stockwell April 17, 2017

fantasy sports

An activity engaged in by fat, sweaty jocks with no sex drive, that somehow makes them less pathetic than sci-fi fans who go to conventions and bone geek-chicks.

My wife has been boning the mailman, but I don't care, more time for me to play my fantasy sports.

by Alex Stockwell September 22, 2007

clorox shampoo

Snide way of saying a woman isn't a natural blonde, implying she bleaches her hair.

What do you use in your hair, Clorox shampoo?

by Alex Stockwell August 3, 2007

Take It Barry

A sex act where the woman straps on a dildo and sodomizes her man with it. The name comes from a scene in the movie "Zack and Miri Make a Porno".

Yeah, take it! Take it! Take it Barry!

by Alex Stockwell August 18, 2009

put your foot through a Van Gogh

To ruin something beautiful by trying to improve it.

You think I should lose weight?

Hey, don't put your foot through a Van Gogh, now.

by Alex Stockwell December 3, 2007