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Ae5Ea8's definitions

closet duty

When your cat spends the night in your closet by accident because you inadvertently closed the door while the cat was in the closet. Usually there is no scratching or meowing. The next morning the cat pops out, as if nothing was amiss.
Fluffy! Sorry about the closet duty!
by Ae5Ea8 March 21, 2015
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high defuctible health plan

A high deductible health plan.

A terrible "health plan" in which you pay between $6,000 to $10,000 per person per calendar year for in-network care before the health plan starts paying any benefit.
a high defuctible health plan does what it says on the tin. It' f*&^%'s you
by Ae5Ea8 October 3, 2016
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blunder crunching

Combination of "blunder" and "number crunching," describing the exasperating experience of trying to figure out which supermarket item is giving you more for your money on a dollar per ounce basis.

A lot of times these days supermarkets will break down the cost per ounce right on the face of the shelf price tag. However, sometimes you find yourself blundering through basic algebra, trying your best to hold your own. Forget about it if you're trying to convert between grams and ounces: you're just done, and you'll make your decision on some other factor.

If you have your phone with you, you can use the calculator function to avoid blunder crunching. In no case, however, must you mumble to yourself out loud as you try to do the calculations.
Don't be the guy mumbling to himself while trying to decide between Starkist tuna or the store brand. Keep your blunder crunching as private as possible.
by Ae5Ea8 April 6, 2015
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test my salad

1. testing the viability of individual leaves of salad greens or baby spinach when picking through the container. You know that the greens are almost spoiled because of the smell, but you can tell that most of the leaves are OK. So you pick through and try to remove just the slimy, decaying pieces.

2. bending over in front of a mirror and checking out your own business end
Thank you for coming over while I cook you dinner. Pardon me while I test my salad.
by Ae5Ea8 July 25, 2015
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acadouche

Combination of "academic" and "douche," describing the pretentious use of academic words.
Why use "premia" as the plural of premium? Ans: because you want to be an acadouche.

Why, like an acadouche, must you insist that "data" is plural. No one uses the word that way.
by Ae5Ea8 April 9, 2015
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Checkout check out

Combination of "checking someone out" and "the checkout" (as in the check out line), describing the slightly invasive act of checking out the items in the shopping cart of the person behind you in line at the checkout.
Bro 1: Did you see that? She was checking me out.
Bro 2: No, Bro, she was checking out the things you're buying. The checkout check out ain't the same thing.
by Ae5Ea8 March 2, 2015
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squiglature

Combo of "signature" and "squiggle," describing the awkward signature one makes on an electronic signature pad at the checkout. A squiglature looks nothing like your real signature.
Your squiglature here, please, sir.
by Ae5Ea8 February 20, 2015
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