Ace Binkley's definitions

Baseball card Burden

The state of an adult possessing many thousands of once valuable, now worthless baseball cards. The burden carrier is cursed with holding a sliver of false hope that the cards will one day become worth something. So, the burden carrier must keep them in "mint" condition(not in the attic or basement where space is abundant) No, the burden-afflicted takes-up large amounts of climate-controlled prime closet space with this mass of what amounts to thousands of glossy toilet paper squares. The burden also weighs heavy in domestic squabbles. If your wife asks you why those cards are taking-up half of the closet, you can say nothing. There is no defense. They are the quivalent of a Precious Moments Burden for women.

"I really would like to buy that new coat. But if I do, I will have to get rid of my vacuum cleaner to make space in the closet" "Such is life with the baseball card burden"

by Ace Binkley July 16, 2008

hors d'ivorce

Formerly married women who put out early in a relationship, or evening.

I love hors d'ivorce. I didn't even have to buy dinner.

by Ace Binkley November 1, 2005

Shark-Bite

Taking a bite out of a FrozeFruit bar(by Bluebunny) or popsicle approaching from the side rather than from the top, which is the more conventional method here on Earth. A person may employ this technique to avoid someone elses frozen slobber(back-ice), or to sabotage the integrity of the frozen fruit bar's architecture....thereby, exposing the beneficial owner of the FrozeFruit bar to the catastrophic risk of a big mess.

Boy says to girl, "let me give that popsicle a haircut"
Girl hands her FrozeFruit bar(by Bluebunny) to boy and then says, "Dont shark bite it, bitch." Boy takes a shark-bite real fast and says "I don't want any of your back-ice." as he hands it back to the girl.
2 minutes later, whats left of the popsicle falls off of the stick onto the white carpet.

by Ace Binkley December 7, 2005

back-ice

Like back-wash, but on a popsicle. This is why many of us use the shark bite method. Frozen slobber on a popsicle.

A beneficial owner of a popsicle would rarely employ the use of a shark bite. This is simply because a person is immune to their own back-ice.

by Ace Binkley December 7, 2005

Beneficial owner of a popsicle

The person who opens the wrapper of a popsicle.

As beneficial owner of a popsicle, I would need to be wary of those who would like to give my popsicle a haircut. They might try a shark-bite to avoid my back-ice.

by Ace Binkley December 8, 2005

Toogie Beard

A strand of caramel attached to someones bottom lip that extends downward toward that base of the chin. This is created by the hasty or careless biting-into a Snickers/Milkyway/100 Grand or otherwise caramel-included candy bar. The person must not realize that the caramel is hanging for a Toogie Beard to be genuine. The person will continue to talk, finish eating the candy bar, etc....without knowing that they just grew a Toogie Beard.

A toogie beard is the equivalent of having terrible toilet habits for your mouth.

by Ace Binkley December 24, 2005

Man Strength

The common strength of a man that seems superhuman to all those who do not possess it. In middle school recess, if you got dared into a friendly wrestling match with that guy (every school has one)who was held-back 2 years and already had a full beard and drove himself to school, you would experience the force of man strength. The fingers seem made of steel and grapple with other-worldly force. Eventually, you will be in a full nelson so tight, you wont be able to get the air out of your constricted neck to muster a vocal signal of capitulation.

I found out that Steve has man strength. I am giving him 1/2 of my lunch money for the rest of the year.

by Ace Binkley December 24, 2005