Definitions by Abdallah Price
brobershop
A barbershop run by white guys in their 20s and 30s who effect a Guido style or similar faux-macho prettyboy bullshit. Everyone who works there has geometrical lines shaved into their head and facial hair, and a haircut runs you $30.00 minimum.
A place where you are most likely to hear the phrases, "Bro, that's sick!" or, "Yeah, I can do that tape-up for you."
A place where you are most likely to hear the phrases, "Bro, that's sick!" or, "Yeah, I can do that tape-up for you."
"Fuck the brobershop, I'm getting my haircut at the old Italian guy's place down the road. I don't care if I have to walk five more blocks. I pay half the price and don't have to listen to Tiesto."
"Dude, I drove by the brobershop at 11pm. Swear to God, they were still in there listening to Tiesto and fistpumping."
"Pacha NYC keeps the brobershops in business."
"Dude, I drove by the brobershop at 11pm. Swear to God, they were still in there listening to Tiesto and fistpumping."
"Pacha NYC keeps the brobershops in business."
brobershop by Abdallah Price February 24, 2013
Gobblecaust
Alternate name for Thanksgiving, owing to the sheer amount of destruction to the turkey population just in one day.
"Hey, Chet. You gotta figure there are about 115 million households in the U.S., right? And let's say the majority of those have a turkey on the table. Think about how many turkeys are butchered just for ONE DAY, dude!"
"I know, Hank. Total gobblecaust."
"Happy Gobblecaust! Chew on your turkey, kidfert!"
"I know, Hank. Total gobblecaust."
"Happy Gobblecaust! Chew on your turkey, kidfert!"
Gobblecaust by Abdallah Price November 28, 2012
Swiss dunk
The act of sitting balls naked on the toilet while taking a shit and swigging some fine beer. Designated "Swiss" for the exquisite cocoa products comin' out yer bungbungbung.
GIRL: "Where's Francis? We gotta get to the concert?"
GUY: "Bastard's still at home havin' himself a Swiss dunk."
GIRL: "Ewwwwww... what kinda beer does he drink?"
GUY: "A lot of German beers."
GIRL: "That would figure. Now every time I see a German beer, I'm going to think of sloppy, drunk asshole."
GUY: "Bastard's still at home havin' himself a Swiss dunk."
GIRL: "Ewwwwww... what kinda beer does he drink?"
GUY: "A lot of German beers."
GIRL: "That would figure. Now every time I see a German beer, I'm going to think of sloppy, drunk asshole."
Swiss dunk by Abdallah Price October 19, 2012
shizzmungler
A hapless, clumsy shithead; someone scatalogically uncautious and careless who ends up with exactly what karma had laying in wait for him; a human being with a paper rectum who could potentially sneeze and spray a jet of Mexican molé sauce against the back wall of his undershorts.
1. "Dude, I've heard of 'don't trust that fart,' but this was more like, 'don't trust that sneeze.' Fucking shizzmungler left his underpants looking like Kurt Cobain on a Sunday morning."
2. "Nothing squishes my areolas with delight more than some shizzmungler doing the cha-cha and walking into an open manhole."
2. "Nothing squishes my areolas with delight more than some shizzmungler doing the cha-cha and walking into an open manhole."
shizzmungler by Abdallah Price October 16, 2012
Scheissebahn
Pronounced (SHY-za-BON), a bastardized pseudo-German phrase meaning more or less "shit highway." A term which was coined to describe the Belt Parkway in Brooklyn, New York.
"Eastbound on the Scheissebahn is backed up. AS USUAL."
"Why are we taking the Scheissebahn when we could just take the streets?"
"Watch out for assholes in Infinity G37x's on the Scheissebahn."
"Why are we taking the Scheissebahn when we could just take the streets?"
"Watch out for assholes in Infinity G37x's on the Scheissebahn."
Scheissebahn by Abdallah Price August 12, 2012
guava-cannon
"Looking down the barrel of that chick's guava-cannon is like staring at the distended mouth of a palsy patient."
"Swear t'Jesus- I was lyin' on the bed after we fucked, and she climbed over me to use the bathroom. All'a sudden her guava-cannon fires off, and now I gots the chunkies in mah chest hair."
"Swear t'Jesus- I was lyin' on the bed after we fucked, and she climbed over me to use the bathroom. All'a sudden her guava-cannon fires off, and now I gots the chunkies in mah chest hair."
guava-cannon by Abdallah Price November 4, 2011
dropkicktastic
1. An adjective describing the object of your pure, joyous rage. Your senses go on overdrive, like you took a hit of Bruce Lee's ashes laced with God's laughter. Basically, whatever has angered you has done it to the point that you are going to beat the bloody fuckin' shit out of it and go fly a kite in a speeding Jeep, after.
2. Describing a person who needs badly to be dropkicked. In the face.
2. Describing a person who needs badly to be dropkicked. In the face.
"THIS IS DROPKICKTASTIC! FUCK YOU, GET BACK! I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE ALIVE! HAHAHAHA, SO MUCH BLOOD! FUCK YOU! YEAH! WOOOHOOO!!!!!!!"
"Every time that hipster prick opens his mouth and tells me my music sucks, he becomes just a little more dropkicktastic."
"Every time that hipster prick opens his mouth and tells me my music sucks, he becomes just a little more dropkicktastic."
dropkicktastic by Abdallah Price November 9, 2010