Definitions by Uncle Dimma
to haze yourself
to contradict onesself so badly, that you actually make a total fool and retard of yourself in front of others, especially family members and significant others.
mother: I don't see the point of celebrating St Valentines any longer; your father din't get me anything this year.
teenage son: St Valentines is a meaningless capitalist holiday, where companies just profit from people uselessly wasting money buying flowers, chocolates and the entire spiel for their significant others. I would personally also shoot anyone who celebrates St Valentines, as in Al Capone and his St Valentines Day Massacre.
mother (sreaming at her son): you moron, this was a rhetorical comment... Oh, and btw, I didn't ask you to haze yourself. Didn't you say you liked socialism , since you called St Valentines a meaningless, useless capitalist holiday, and then you turned around and said, as a matter of oikos, that you were going to shoot, Al Capone-style, anyone who celebrates St Valentines, but in The United States of America shooting someone, and respecting the infalibility of the Second Amendment is a matter of oikos. Therefore, you believe in bringing your own arms and weapons to the fight, and therefore support capitalism. But you can't support socialism and capitalism at the same time.
teenage son: St Valentines is a meaningless capitalist holiday, where companies just profit from people uselessly wasting money buying flowers, chocolates and the entire spiel for their significant others. I would personally also shoot anyone who celebrates St Valentines, as in Al Capone and his St Valentines Day Massacre.
mother (sreaming at her son): you moron, this was a rhetorical comment... Oh, and btw, I didn't ask you to haze yourself. Didn't you say you liked socialism , since you called St Valentines a meaningless, useless capitalist holiday, and then you turned around and said, as a matter of oikos, that you were going to shoot, Al Capone-style, anyone who celebrates St Valentines, but in The United States of America shooting someone, and respecting the infalibility of the Second Amendment is a matter of oikos. Therefore, you believe in bringing your own arms and weapons to the fight, and therefore support capitalism. But you can't support socialism and capitalism at the same time.
to haze yourself by Uncle Dimma February 14, 2012
on it like a car bonnet
either
a) for a police officer/detective/Sherlock Holmes or anyone along those lines in hot pursuit of either a of a criminal (usually a juvenile delinquent truating or in search of new adventure (unplanned) in the great outdoor wilderness.
b) can also be used as a derogatory term for a couple who have sex outside in public (usually on the bonnet or hood of their own parked car).
NB: my definition a) comes from the fact that some criminals aressted after a foot chase are brought back to the officer's patrol car/van, physically shoved onto the hood and then handcuffed. Also when people get lost in the wilderness while travelling by car, they might sit on the hood/bonnet of their car and think about what to do, sometimes waiting just long enough for an unplanned adventure to come and find them 9like a bear coming out of the wilderness to smell your vehicle). my definition b) refers to the fact that some couples do use the hood/bonnet of their car to have sex in public, think its okay, simply because its their car.
a) for a police officer/detective/Sherlock Holmes or anyone along those lines in hot pursuit of either a of a criminal (usually a juvenile delinquent truating or in search of new adventure (unplanned) in the great outdoor wilderness.
b) can also be used as a derogatory term for a couple who have sex outside in public (usually on the bonnet or hood of their own parked car).
NB: my definition a) comes from the fact that some criminals aressted after a foot chase are brought back to the officer's patrol car/van, physically shoved onto the hood and then handcuffed. Also when people get lost in the wilderness while travelling by car, they might sit on the hood/bonnet of their car and think about what to do, sometimes waiting just long enough for an unplanned adventure to come and find them 9like a bear coming out of the wilderness to smell your vehicle). my definition b) refers to the fact that some couples do use the hood/bonnet of their car to have sex in public, think its okay, simply because its their car.
two police officers in discussion, after one of their fellow officers go off on a foot chase:
officer a): where's my partner Michael?, you seen him?
officer b): i think I saw him on it like a car bonnet, chasing after that hot female teenage delinquent.. (moments later): Tom, here goes the answer to your question, there's Michael (pointing at a car parked some distance away). He is on it like a bonnet, raping that girl, instead of giving her a hefty fine.
officer a) Thanks man, well looks like that girl didn't have the money to pay the fine anyways, so she got what she deserved. Let's just hope she doesn't have a beautiful disaster.
officer a): where's my partner Michael?, you seen him?
officer b): i think I saw him on it like a car bonnet, chasing after that hot female teenage delinquent.. (moments later): Tom, here goes the answer to your question, there's Michael (pointing at a car parked some distance away). He is on it like a bonnet, raping that girl, instead of giving her a hefty fine.
officer a) Thanks man, well looks like that girl didn't have the money to pay the fine anyways, so she got what she deserved. Let's just hope she doesn't have a beautiful disaster.
on it like a car bonnet by Uncle Dimma February 13, 2012
red roider
red roider
a term used to define men who tan too much (however one is to define the term too much) and who take steroids in order to enhance their performance when they hit the gym.
a term used to define men who tan too much (however one is to define the term too much) and who take steroids in order to enhance their performance when they hit the gym.
Two high school girls in conversation:
Amy: so Diana, godess of male-magnetism, how was your first workout at that new gym of yours?
Diana: First off, lol thanks for the compliment concerning goddess of male magnetism. And at the gym , I met this tanned-complexion guy, Andy I think his name was.
Amy: lol, don't judge a book by its cover, as they say, he may be a red roider.
Diana: Oh.
Amy: so Diana, godess of male-magnetism, how was your first workout at that new gym of yours?
Diana: First off, lol thanks for the compliment concerning goddess of male magnetism. And at the gym , I met this tanned-complexion guy, Andy I think his name was.
Amy: lol, don't judge a book by its cover, as they say, he may be a red roider.
Diana: Oh.
red roider by Uncle Dimma February 9, 2012
monkey-house
monkey-house
this term can be used, depending on the context, to define either of 2 things
a) a ghetto (socio-economically disadvantaged neighborhood populated, mainly, by ethnic minorities) public school where most, if not all, of the kids have or have had problems with one or more or even all of the following, among other things: being a run-away, truancy, the law, hard core drugs, prostitution, alcohol, teenage pregnancy pacts and curfew violations
b) an offensive term for either the psychiatric ward of a regular hospital, the local half-way house, or for a specialized mental health facility (such as Insitut Pinel in Montreal, Canada).
this term can be used, depending on the context, to define either of 2 things
a) a ghetto (socio-economically disadvantaged neighborhood populated, mainly, by ethnic minorities) public school where most, if not all, of the kids have or have had problems with one or more or even all of the following, among other things: being a run-away, truancy, the law, hard core drugs, prostitution, alcohol, teenage pregnancy pacts and curfew violations
b) an offensive term for either the psychiatric ward of a regular hospital, the local half-way house, or for a specialized mental health facility (such as Insitut Pinel in Montreal, Canada).
a mother finds out her eldest daughter is doing marijuana.
mother: Anna, you know, I don't really see the point of paying for your private education anymore, since, in my experience, once you have started on marijuana, the snow-balling effect won't stop until you crash and you will just keep going deeper. What i can do if you want, is send you to continue your education at the local monkey-house; Ecole Secondaire St Luc is right next door to our place.
Anna: roflmao. I started actually, smoking pot, because I broke up with my boyfriend Evan. And because of my breakup, Ill either crash, as you mentioned, or I guess I can check myself into a monkey-house, since I am just so bloody depressed, I feel like removing myself from society.
mother: Anna, you know, I don't really see the point of paying for your private education anymore, since, in my experience, once you have started on marijuana, the snow-balling effect won't stop until you crash and you will just keep going deeper. What i can do if you want, is send you to continue your education at the local monkey-house; Ecole Secondaire St Luc is right next door to our place.
Anna: roflmao. I started actually, smoking pot, because I broke up with my boyfriend Evan. And because of my breakup, Ill either crash, as you mentioned, or I guess I can check myself into a monkey-house, since I am just so bloody depressed, I feel like removing myself from society.
monkey-house by Uncle Dimma February 9, 2012
noob
a synonym, although a neutral or offensive one (depending on the situation and context) one, for a rookie or a newbie.
military drill sergeant (adressing a private): yo noob, wat might yor name be?
private: Sir, my name is Michael Jordan.
drill sergeant : as in michael Jordan the basketball star?
private: yes and no. yes, since Jordan is my middle name and I am proud of it, and no because my last name is not Jordan and I am not related to Michael Jordan the basketball star, sorry...
private: Sir, my name is Michael Jordan.
drill sergeant : as in michael Jordan the basketball star?
private: yes and no. yes, since Jordan is my middle name and I am proud of it, and no because my last name is not Jordan and I am not related to Michael Jordan the basketball star, sorry...
noob by Uncle Dimma February 4, 2012
decougar
used as a verb, this term is used to define:
the act, for a mature woman (usually 35-50 years old), of deflowering a cub (a young man, usually between the ages of 18 and 25)
the act, for a mature woman (usually 35-50 years old), of deflowering a cub (a young man, usually between the ages of 18 and 25)
two teenage boys in conversation:
boy a) can your mom decougar me?
boy b) nope, sorry, shes not into cubs. ask your girlfriend to help you, shes virgin right, so you can then deflower each other.
boy a) um there's just one problem: my girlfriend is absolutely averse to being deflowered by someone who is themselves a virgin.
boy b) ask her mom then to decougar you first, and then deflower your girlfriend.
boy a) hey! that's an idea with merit.
boy a) can your mom decougar me?
boy b) nope, sorry, shes not into cubs. ask your girlfriend to help you, shes virgin right, so you can then deflower each other.
boy a) um there's just one problem: my girlfriend is absolutely averse to being deflowered by someone who is themselves a virgin.
boy b) ask her mom then to decougar you first, and then deflower your girlfriend.
boy a) hey! that's an idea with merit.
decougar by Uncle Dimma February 1, 2012
VGL
VGL
this is an acronym for vaginally good lover and is used as:
a) an offensive term for a man who has an incalculable amount of one-night stands with women and all he cares about is only vaginally pleasing these women, of course at a detriment not only to anal and oral sex for these women (since not all women like only vaginal sex) but also to his own sexual pleasure and gratification
b) used as a neutral term in female-only conversations or bachelorette parties to denote a male lover who is generally overall great in bed.
two women in conversation:
this is an acronym for vaginally good lover and is used as:
a) an offensive term for a man who has an incalculable amount of one-night stands with women and all he cares about is only vaginally pleasing these women, of course at a detriment not only to anal and oral sex for these women (since not all women like only vaginal sex) but also to his own sexual pleasure and gratification
b) used as a neutral term in female-only conversations or bachelorette parties to denote a male lover who is generally overall great in bed.
two women in conversation:
woman a) how was your craigsnight?
woman b) horrible. the bastard i hooked up with for a one-night stand was such a VGL
woman b) horrible. the bastard i hooked up with for a one-night stand was such a VGL
VGL by Uncle Dimma January 29, 2012