☆★Midas★☆'s definitions

Wish-Wosh

The act of gaining a sexy lassie's trust only to give'r the ol' "quarter pounder with balls".

Jules: Dad, have you seen my phone?
Me: Come in my room, it might be anywhere...
Jules: Ok!
Later...
(Muffled) Dad stop i'm only 15.
Me: That's what she said, and that's what you're 'bout to say soon...
Jules: What?
Me: *lip bites naughtily*
Jules: OoooOooOOOooh daddy yes! Give it to me! Gimme the ol' wish-wosh

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 7, 2022

Totem_pole

A total asshole, they always have to have a damn opinion, they always have a fucking opinion. Mostly against the Americans with the stupid "Oooh they're fatasses 'cuz they are in the United States!". You do not deserve to be in this situation, he's a humongous dipshit who can go up Satan's flaming arsehole.

Totem_pole: Haha Americans use the word "ass" because their retarded fatasses can't say arse correctly.
Me: Well yo ass can't shut the fuck up because YOUR know it all smartass is full of shit!
Totem_poledancerthatsugly: Haha shit-sagging American suck my dick!
Me: No you fuckwit! I'm European. I mean... crikey! Seems like YOU'VE been the one stacking on all the maccas!
Totem_shit: What?
Me: I hope you get bitten in the leg by a kangaroo!

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 27, 2022

Don't touch it it'll only make it spread faster!

Something the back girl said in the remake of Hell Boy when she got shot with a poisonous twig.

"Don't touch it it'll only make it spread faster!"
Me: That's what she said

by ☆★Midas★☆ January 27, 2022

niggalovania

Black sans, you may call me racist because im white, but if you're white, you had to type the n word to get here. ^o^ Lol

You: Im GoNnA tYpE nIgGaLoVaNiA On UrBaN dIcTiOnArY aNd CaLl SoMe OnE oUt FoR iT.

Me: Lol you racist

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 3, 2022

If your girlfriend has...

...a scar on her right eye.
One golden left eye.
Has black hair.
Is pale as can fucking be.
and has nice breasts and a good 2 inch cleavage...
That's not your girlfriend
Thats my fucking wife... Marigold.

Jules: Hey dad look, I'm lesbian!
Me: THATS A SIN! GIVE ME THAT OR ELSE GOD WILL FUCKING SEND YOU TO HELL!
Me: Oh, some nice tits.

Wait... If your girlfriend has...
WAIT THAT'S YOUR MOM
Jules: Lgbtqia+
Me: The I stands for incest...

Jules: DAD WAIT...
Me: *Strips her*
Jules: Oh daddy please no oh my god not again daddy wait hol o- OOoOoOoooOhhhh. AhhhhhHaAAA Oh daddy harder ohhhh. Stick- OooooOOOOooOaaaaahHH

Me: *cums*

by ☆★Midas★☆ January 31, 2022

My name is...

Walter Hartwell White, I live at 308 negra arroyo lane albequerque New Mexico 87104, I have recently smuggled methanphetamine from across the United States. I have a drug problem consisting of where I FAP to my daughter's selfies, I also have attachment issues with my wife so I hot glued my penis inside her. I also broke into your house and stole your wallet, I also broke into your child's bedroom and proceeded to then masturbate to his 'sextapes' he makes on his Nintendo 3DS at 12 am. All while twerking on his nose, I also broke into Alcatraz and fucked a dead corpse, which was actually a corroded stripping pole in Handurez, speaking of Mexico, I have shipped your wife to Argentina, where she will get a BDSM session for exactly 48 hours straight.

My name is... big fat mama llama.

by ☆★Midas★☆ March 27, 2022

fun-sized mommy

The sexiest chick you'll ever fucking see, she'll burn your eyes just by looking at her. She's even sexier than Marigold! Her white drooping pussyflaps are the sexiest size. Her nice sweaty pussy fits the just perfect girth and length of your cock, she's perfect. Her white titties are full of fun, she will come home every night from work just to slightly barely unbutten her shirt to show the tops of her tits, she will make you turn on brighter than the fucking sun. Your dick fits in her cleaveage perfectly, just making it the perfect conditions to cum so far in her throat. She will have you dominate you like a country in WW2. She will ride you SO HARD you will shoot your cum up her gaping white butthole like Hitler shooting the Americans. She will dominate you, she wants you, and you... whoever reading this, deserve the world.

Hey Midas, hows your wife, Marigold?
Me: Oh, Her, Yaah, I found myself a fun-sized mommy last night and I fucking owned that pussy like a monopoly plot.
Hmmm... I'm kinda jealous

Me: Oh you... wanna play??

Her: Oh fun! Whadd'ya have?

Me: *lip bites while blushing*
Her: Ohhh... that game... *strips*

Me: My dick will fit! FUCKIN' FIT I MEAN!

Her: OooooOoOooOOooh Daddy harder... Ohhhhh *squirts*

Me: Well I was gonna make a sextape but I nutted so fast it's a gif. Oh well...

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 3, 2022