If you live in a tall building when you ride the elevator down to the first floor when your about to get out of it and a lot of people are trying to get in you press every button to piss everyone off

The replacement saying for "It pays the bills" in reference to writing off a job as merely a means of income, and in no way an enjoyable or lucrative way of making a living.
Due to the increase in taxes "It pays the taxes" takes the place of "It pays the bills" while it takes a second job or additional income to actually pay the bills.

Phrases and words such as "lol yeah" and "haha ok" that are guaranteed to kill any text conversation.

The garments you wear during a shortage of underwear, when you haven't done laundry in several weeks or months. Usually characterized by lack of elasticity, holes (usually large and awkwardly located), stains, and typically are at least 5 - 10 years old. In some cases soccer shorts, underwear of unknown origin, thongs, bathing suit bottoms, or 'granny panties' can be considered famine underwear, but do not necessarily meet the above criteria.

While you are driving and listening to music, you bang on the steering wheel as if it were a drum set.

A motercycle helmet.

The act of attaching an almost completely used piece of soap to a new, unused piece because it is now too small to be conveniently used but you also don't want to waste it.