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Urban Dictionary

Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em 

A punchline to a joke, the whole joke is almost never heard.
There are various setups to this punchline. Here's one:

One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'

As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its a**.

Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'

The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's a**.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word 'a**' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'Em."

Or this shorter version:

Teacher: So Johnny, how was your weekend?
Johnny: Horrible. A car hit my dog, right in the a**!
Teacher (correcting Johnny's language): Rectum.
Johnny: Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!

The Peninsula 

A region of the San Francisco Bay Area, located south of, but not including the city of San Francisco, down to Palo Alto (in my opinion, many other locals will give a different ending point)
I got a meeting over at Oracle, I gotta take the Caltrain up to the Peninsula
The Peninsula by CA-82 December 29, 2018

shuckerkneebuckles 

THE BEST WORD EVERπŸ™ŒπŸ₯¦ if you do something wrong or smth goes wrong just say it
aww shuckerkneebuckles πŸ˜”

Volunteer editors

The dickheads that keep saying no to my definitions
A few volunteer editors read your definition and decided to not publish it
Volunteer editors by Washy February 17, 2015

Gallywompon 

When something is bouncing up and down and has a chance to break or come loose.
The trailer is gallywompon on the bumpy road.

Mike Dunleavy 

A former, Duke/ NCAA hottie, J.J. Redick's predecessor, one of the three leaders of the Golden State Warriors. Eldest son of Mike Dunleavey, Sr. who coaches the L.A. Clippers.
Mike Dunleavy is the hottest basketball player on the West Coast.
Mike Dunleavy by Plankton February 14, 2005