A new class of
DJ that is beyond the "press play
dj" you all are used to. Faux
DJ'ing consists of any of the following
DJ No No's while on stage, but not limited to:
Social Media Moments "ie. Facebook Live" - aka Stage Basking
Big
Drop with Both Hands in the Air - aka the Rollincoaster
Fake Knob Touching - aka Knob Mobbin
Using Headphones that Sound Awful and aren't Insulated - ie. Beats, Skullcandy, or any Earbuds - aka Dullcandy Headphones
Playing Classic
Techno Hits Remixed into Top 40's EDM - aka Re-Rubadub Refix Remix Bootleg
Staying in a Groove for Less than 1 Minute "Unless Playing Hip Hop, Breaks, or Scratching" - aka Faux Limit Soldier
No Cueing - aka Cueless
No Beat Matching - aka Cheat Matching
Audible BPM Track Transitions - No Headphones or Hands Needed "Proof is in the Pre-production" - aka Propagation Validation
Hugging your Competition in Front of "Your" Fans - aka Busyness Practices
Magically Morphs into
DJ Preacher - aka Microfaux
Hero
Sandstorm by Darude is for Private Listening ONLY! "Darude would agree" - aka Blandstorm
Jim: Dude, you wanna hit up that Festy with us this weekend?
Bob: Who's all playing there?
Jim: Only some of the biggest and best
DJ's ever!
Bob: Sweet! Is this a DMC Championship?
Jim: Whats a DMC Championship?
Bob:
Nevermind, and NO, I'm not paying to see a bunch of Faux
DJ's.