Yarkshart is a compound word that combines "yark" (slang for the verb form of "vomit") and "shart" (slang portmanteau of "shit" + "fart"). A "yarkshart" is when both yarking and sharting occur simultaneously. Yes, the yarkshart is the unfortunate concurrence of the failure of the anal sphincter to retain all the contents of the colon/large intestine while one is also puking.
In other words, some poo sneaks out while you're doubled over hurling your guts out. Yarksharting is retching up the contents of your stomach and shitting your pants at the same time. (See also: hurl, and retch.) Yarksharts could be caused by food poisoning, could be due to poor life choices (such as excessive alcohol consumption), or could even become some new fad or challenge. It's possible that Rule 34 also applies, but I don't want that in my search history.
In other words, some poo sneaks out while you're doubled over hurling your guts out. Yarksharting is retching up the contents of your stomach and shitting your pants at the same time. (See also: hurl, and retch.) Yarksharts could be caused by food poisoning, could be due to poor life choices (such as excessive alcohol consumption), or could even become some new fad or challenge. It's possible that Rule 34 also applies, but I don't want that in my search history.
"Sorry to bother you, but do you have a spare toothbrush, some sweatpants, and a plastic bag? I totally yarksharted in your yard."
I set my email auto-reply to "I'm sorry but I'm unable to return your correspondence at this time due to a very messy yarkshart I'm still recovering from. I will get back to you as soon as I've properly sanitized all affected surfaces and clothing. I apologize for any inconvenience, but trust me: you're probably having a MUCH better day than I am."
"I'm so drunk I'm yarksharting everything I've consumed in the last 24 hours. I'll lie to myself and say I'll never do this again. If only I had made it to the bathtub first."
"I saw that cook fail to wash his hands between touching raw chicken and prepared food, leading to possible cross-contamination. I thought I would let it go because I'm working on controlling my germophobia. But after eating several tacos I was up all night yarksharting. It was horrible."
I set my email auto-reply to "I'm sorry but I'm unable to return your correspondence at this time due to a very messy yarkshart I'm still recovering from. I will get back to you as soon as I've properly sanitized all affected surfaces and clothing. I apologize for any inconvenience, but trust me: you're probably having a MUCH better day than I am."
"I'm so drunk I'm yarksharting everything I've consumed in the last 24 hours. I'll lie to myself and say I'll never do this again. If only I had made it to the bathtub first."
"I saw that cook fail to wash his hands between touching raw chicken and prepared food, leading to possible cross-contamination. I thought I would let it go because I'm working on controlling my germophobia. But after eating several tacos I was up all night yarksharting. It was horrible."
by Apercu Pandect October 27, 2018