1. A memetic media virus propogated by FAUX News, the
24 hour infotainment network A completely ridiculous red herring spawned in the winter of 2005, the War on
Christmas refers to the alleged schemings of liberal secularist grinches to threaten the religious freedoms of Christians, that horribly opressed minority (all 80% of them).
Cited examples of this so-called opression include opposition to displays of a distinctly religious nature erected on taxpayer-funded public spaces, and the policies of many businesses to wish their patrons 'Happy Holidays'. This was somehow construed by some disgruntled conservatives as an all-out declaration of war on
Christmas.
2. The War on
Christmas also alludes to the title of an entire book written by FOX anchorman John Gibson, an obvious marketing tie-in to the product they are constantly selling: divisive
hype.
3. The ongoing struggle against insurgent elves. Even though Old Saint Nick allowed UN inspectors to visit his compound in the North Pole where no WMD were found, the Bush administration insisted on a preemptive-strike on
Santa's Workshop.
Target Employee: Happy Holidays!
Disgruntled Conservative: What did you say?!? Do I look
like some kind of jew? This is just another sick example of the
tree-hugging, Birkenstock-wearing, CNN-watching, Clinton-blowing secular humanist War on
Christmas!!
