14 definitions by Dovetchka

1. A memetic media virus propogated by FAUX News, the 24 hour infotainment network A completely ridiculous red herring spawned in the winter of 2005, the War on Christmas refers to the alleged schemings of liberal secularist grinches to threaten the religious freedoms of Christians, that horribly opressed minority (all 80% of them).
Cited examples of this so-called opression include opposition to displays of a distinctly religious nature erected on taxpayer-funded public spaces, and the policies of many businesses to wish their patrons 'Happy Holidays'. This was somehow construed by some disgruntled conservatives as an all-out declaration of war on Christmas.

2. The War on Christmas also alludes to the title of an entire book written by FOX anchorman John Gibson, an obvious marketing tie-in to the product they are constantly selling: divisive hype.

3. The ongoing struggle against insurgent elves. Even though Old Saint Nick allowed UN inspectors to visit his compound in the North Pole where no WMD were found, the Bush administration insisted on a preemptive-strike on Santa's Workshop.
Target Employee: Happy Holidays!
Disgruntled Conservative: What did you say?!? Do I look like some kind of jew? This is just another sick example of the tree-hugging, Birkenstock-wearing, CNN-watching, Clinton-blowing secular humanist War on Christmas!!
by Dovetchka December 25, 2005
A derogatory pun for FOX News, the 24 hour cable network which ushered in the age of shouting head pseudo-journalism.

See also faux
FAUX News: We Distort, You Comply
by Dovetchka December 24, 2005
A genre-transcending band one must actually hear to fully appreciate. Like a runaway train engineered by ragtag poets overfond of spinning literary anachronisms into exultant ballads.
Pure joy.
Have you heard of The Decemberists?
Their music makes my nipples hard.
They are that good.
by Dovetchka December 23, 2005
An female of decidedly overwrought, emo or gothic tendancies.

Refers to the tragic heroine of Shakespearian fame who commited suicide due to her unrequited love for Hamlet.
Since he dumped her she's been shut up in her room listening to The Smiths all day. She's such an Ophelia.
by Dovetchka December 23, 2005
proper n. An excellent television series adapted from the works of canadian novelist Lucy Maud Montgomery (of Anne of Green Gables fame). Expertly produced by Kevin Sullivan, Avonlea follows the lives of turn-of-the-century famillies living on beautiful Prince Edward Island, or PEI.

The series stands out for its beautiful scenery and sets, authentic costumes, well-devised plotlines, excellent acting and evocative themes. The overall quality of the production brings to mind Merchant/Ivory costume dramas.

Most Americans familliar with the series watched it on The Disney Channel, which used to carry it weekly. It should also be noted that this is the show on which actress Sarah Polley (Dawn of the Dead remake, Go!) played her first important role, as the impetuous Sarah Stanley.

Unfortunately, this beautiful drama has faded into obsqureity, now remembered only by die-hard Green Gables fans.
Avonlea was probably the best period drama ever produced, rivaling even Little House on The Prarie, and I hereby record its greatness for posterity's sake.
by Dovetchka December 25, 2005
A fortunate unforseen circumstance. An unexpected perk as a result of any given chain of events.
An obvious melding of the words fortunate + unforseen + circumstance.

This word originated as a forcumstantial product of a slip of the tounge by a friend attempting to say "Fortunate unforseen circumstance".

Its obvious poetry, and the way it trips lightly off the tounge make it a forcumstantial addition to any cutting edge lexicon or meme cache.
She was a fan of 70's zombie movies, and through luck and forcumstance, met a guy who was into Romero films.
by Dovetchka December 23, 2005
n. or adj. An amalgam of faux and goth, used to describe the latest generation of youngsters who identify themselves and certain bands as gothic, even though they are really nothing of the sort according to the oldschool sensibilities of the subculture, which has been co-opted by commercialism and completely bastardized.

other pertinent terms and examples: goff, goffic, emo, being 'scene', Hot Topic, mall punk, My Chemical Romance, The Used
I was in the mall today and couldn't help but notice the gauxth kiddies swarming all over Hot Topic. They were all born sometime after 1984 and have never heard of Bauhaus.
by Dovetchka December 26, 2005