Top definition
predominantely British term for masturbation

Buffing the Banana
Holding Your Sausage Hostage
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Rounding up the Tadpoles
Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ
Spank the Frank
Applying the hand brake
Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
Auditioning the finger puppets
Beef-stroke-it-off
Boxing the bald champ
Charming the snake
Checking for testicular cancer
Choking Kojak
Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie
Straddle your paddle
Taking matters into your own hands
Teasing the weasel
Thumping the pump
Tickling the pickle
etc etc
by Master Bates March 23, 2003
Get the merch
Get the wank neck gaiter and mug.
Nov 27 Word of the Day
A stupid person; it refers to the lack of surface area on an individual's brain. The general thought is that the more surface area (wrinkles, creases, etc.) a brain has, the smarter the person is. Conversely, a person with a smooth brain (no wrinkles) has less surface area and would therefore be stupid.
That fucking smooth brain put his shirt on backwards again...

That smooth brain is dumber than a pile of shit.
by Tip Tank May 14, 2011
Get the merch
Get the Smooth Brain neck gaiter and mug.
2
1. A slang term for masturbation that originated in Britain.
2. A word that describes something that is very poor/terrible.
1)

A: "I heard Jake broke up with Charlotte"
B: "Yeah, he's probably at home, wanking"

2)

A: "Did you see that film?"
B: "Yeah, it sucked. Utter wank."
by EvilFruitPie April 25, 2011
Get the mug
Get a Wank mug for your mom Beatrix.
3
The act of self masturbation (verb)
Hey John, wanna go catch a beer?
No, I think I'm just going to go home and have a wank.
by terriblequiche August 10, 2006
Get the mug
Get a wank mug for your friend James.
4
Although E. M. Forster enjoyed Virginia Woolf's company, he'd often wish she'd shut up and leave so he could enjoy a rollicking good wank in the gazeebo.
by Reginald Whattabone October 06, 2003
Get the merch
Get the wank neck gaiter and mug.
5
.bash the bishop
.choke the chicken
.yank the plank
.clean the pipes
.grapple the gorilla
.pet the one eyed snake
.stroke the salami
.massage colin
.toss off
.shake hands with the milkman
.plain old wank
.greet the old chap
.tommy tank
by r0By$Ta April 08, 2003
Get the mug
Get a wank mug for your bunkmate Sarah.
6
1. British slang for masturbation or masturbating.
2. An on-line discuss without purpose or substance that often involves pretension and bullshit.
1. There was a guy in the park having a wank in the bushes.

2. Then the entire conversation degenerated into complete wank.
by A.A. September 11, 2004
Get the mug
Get a wank mug for your buddy Paul.

Activity