university towers 

A nationwide chain of poorly managed, off-campus, college dorm/appartments. When given the initial tour of the building, the potential resident is awestruck by the spacious rooms, walk-in closets, views of the city, and kitchinettes. The potential resident is also made to believe that the food court, which is attached to the building, produces amazing gourmet meals whenever the student is hungry. To make matters better, these delicious meals are included in the rent! However after living in any of University Towers's locations one realizes that all they bought was room in a building where every section smells like a different kind of shit. The amazing food ends up being anything the thieves in the cafe can make out of a tortilla and fried chicken. The spacious room is usually ruined by a roomate who is a mamma's boy and pees on the toilet seat.

Kid 1: "Living in University Towers is Great! The hallway on my floor smells like foreskin and burnt sugar today."

Kid 2: "Thats nothing, the elevator I took this morning smelled like rubber cement, jet fuel, and Japanese candy. On top of that, I was stuck in the elevator between floors for 20 min."

OR

Kid 1: "Today for dinner I had a buffalo chicken wrap."

Kid 2: "I spiced things up tonight. I had a chicken wrap with buffalo sauce."

Kid 3: "Man, that sounds good guys; much better than the tortilla with fried chicken, rice, and spicy red sauce that I had."

university towers by BigNig J October 29, 2006