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Lardass Tiddlywink

Lardass Tiddlywink is a big tub of goo located in the windy city, Chicago. Oddly enough Chicago only becomes windy after Lardass (pronounced LarDOSS) consumes a couple of bacon, Lexapro, peanut butter, and cheese whiz sandwiches. Lardass currently resides with mother, 13 cats, an “Iron Man” action figure, and an imaginary friend “Peter”. Commonly mistaken for a homosexual, Lardass is actually an a-sexual hermaphrodite who is about as anatomically correct as a “Ken Doll“. Lardass is a connoisseur of rare comic books however, none of which retain any value as “Mint Condition” oddly enough excludes bacon grease and semen.
Lady “Hey Lardass Tiddlywink, I will give you a bacon grease hand job for 20 bucks.” Lardass, “Not now mom, I’m off to Comi-Con, unless you can front me 20 bucks.”
Lardass Tiddlywink by Egoiste April 30, 2010

tiddlywinks 

Meaningless parlor game created in Victorian 1890's England in which the objective is to shoot "winks" into a cup. Commonly used today to disparagingly call something trivial and unimportant.
Guy1: Hey man I'm off to play a game of pickup volleyball at the park, want to come?
Guy2: Nah I'm off to play some tackle football, but you can call me when you're done playing tiddlywinks.

"I made 7 grand on the Google IPO, but that's tiddlywinks compared to what the Sergey Brin made."
tiddlywinks by JamesMMMM October 28, 2008

Fiddlywank 

to be an ignorant and ugly person
Dude you're such a fiddlywank.

tough tiddliwinks 

An expression of disapprovement often used by very corny people who dont like offending others
Joe: Man i dont want to go for a walk today
Stan: tough tiddliwinks were goin anyways

Rasberry Tiddlywinks

When a woman queefs but accidentally squirts blood.
Damm, my gf just did a rasberry tiddlywinks.

Tiddlytwink 

A disparaging reference to a male twink that is past his teen boyish prime and lost his youthful features that most chicken hawks find attractive. While some youthful qualities may remain, becoming a tiddlytwink usually applies to former twinks now ranging in age from 25-30.
Once I realized that I was no longer getting barraged with dick pics from dirty old men, I knew I had become a tiddlytwink.
Tiddlytwink by Dick Onchin December 7, 2020