The Johnson 

The Johnson is when a man wakes up in the middle of the night, usually trying to get some booty, (not always, see examples below) and is rejected. When this happens, he proceeds to masturbate on his girl, in anger. There's three different known types of The Johnson.

1. The Johnson- Male masterbates on female then in good manor, cleans it up.
2. The Clean Johnson- Male masterbates on female in shower, water from the shower cleans her off.
3. The Dirty Johnson- Male is so pissed off because he is rejected that he masterbates on the female and leaves it there, for a nice surprise when she wakes up.

Erin got The Johnson on her birthday, she dosen't need a receipt for that!

The Johnson by Topher Johnson January 12, 2009

The Johnson 

The Johnson is when a man wakes up in the middle of the night, usually trying to get some booty, and is rejected. When this happens, he proceeds to masturbate on his girl. Their is three different types of The Johnson.
1. The Johnson- Male masterbates on female then in good manor, cleans it up.
2. The Clean Johnson- Male masterbates on female in shower, water from the shower cleans her off.
3. The Dirty Johnson- Male is so pissed off because he is rejected that he masterbates on the female and leaves it there, for a surprise when she wakes up.

Erin got The Johnson on her birthday, she don't need a receipt for that!

The Johnson by Topher Johnson February 14, 2008

The Johnson 

The Johnson is when a man wakes up in the middle of the night, usually trying to get some booty, (not always, see examples below) and is rejected. When this happens, he proceeds to masturbate on his girl, in anger. There's three different known types of The Johnson.

1. The Johnson- Male masterbates on female then in good manor, cleans it up.
2. The Clean Johnson- Male masterbates on female in shower, water from the shower cleans her off.
3. The Dirty Johnson- Male is so pissed off because he is rejected that he masterbates on the female and leaves it there, for a nice surprise when she wakes up.
Erin got The Johnson on her birthday, she dosen't need a receipt for that!

Erin got The Johnson for her birthday, she dosen't need a receipt for that.

The Johnson by Topher Johnson February 15, 2008

The Johnson 

A sex position where the female is put in the walls of jericho and brutally pounded

“bro did you hear? he put her in The Johnson last night”

The Johnson by caleb hodge December 21, 2022

The Johnson Treatment 

The treatment of others by former president Lyndon B. Johnson, in which he would hypothetically 'pop one's bubble' to demand their attention. The 'Treatment' was described as having 'a large St. Bernard licking your face and pawing you all over.'

Also used when decribing being 'violated' by unwanted company.

Barkley gave me The Johnson Treatment the other day, so I filed a lawsuit.

The Johnson Treatment by Katy B. November 25, 2006

The Johnson Effect 

The Effect consists of a common practice where someone kisses someone and break up about a week later. The practice gets its name from a man named El B. Johnson, A common user of the practice.

Oh bro, that was totally The Johnson Effect at play.

The Johnson Effect by TrevanTe349 February 24, 2020

The Johnson Effect 

When your cellphone starts to ring as soon as you whip out your Johnson to take a piss.

“I ran to the bathroom to take a humongous piss, and of course the Johnson Effect happened as soon as I whipped out my shlong.

The Johnson Effect by Levi Spencer September 4, 2020