The Church of Scientology 

An organization the controls the minds of its members. This organization has a goal of making money. The organization charges its members for "religous" lessons to the point where all the members funds are given to the organization.

The organization has a history of attempting to intimidate those who oppose the organization via the internet as well as in the courts through unfounded law suits.

The members of this organization believe that its members problems are caused by the spirits of space aliens that were planted on this planet by and alien ruler "Xenu". The goal is to "clear" the member and get rid of the spirits, thus solving all of their problems. The cost to be cleared is said to be well over $300,000.

This organization is thought by many to be a dangerous cult. The mind control techniques are very effective and many do not leave the organization until the end of their lives.

Recent actions by a group known as anonymous have brought the cult into light in the past year.

The Church of Scientology brainwashed my brother and took all his money.

The Church of Scientology by anonymouscult January 16, 2009

The Church of Shakira

The Church of Shakira is a growing online movement of people around the world who have come together to recognize Shakira as The Goddess of Happiness and Joy. They worship her and Her divine hips which the give her the power to spread joy and love all around the world through her music. The Church officially gained a footing in the summer of 2018 on twitter going by @church_shakira and shortly after, an Instagram page going by the handle @churchofshakira.

Though it can be classified as a religion, The believers of the hips believe it is not mutually exclusive to other religions meaning you can be a member of the Church of Shakira without leaving your current faith. They believe Shakira's purpose as a goddess is to make the world a better place and inspire others to do the same. The Church of Shakira aims to organize the efforts of those who believe in the powers of the Eternal Hips so Shakira's efforts are not in vain. Membership in the Church of Shakira does not require full devotion to Shakira but at least acknowledgment of the power of Shakira and her Omnipotent Hips and the understanding that her Hips NEVER lie.

PERSON 1: Have you visited the Church of Shakira's instagram page?
PERSON 2: Yes! One look and I'm already praising the Hips and blasting Shakira music!

PERSON 1: huh, Someone told me it was a cult...
PERSON 2: Definitely not! When have you ever heard of a cult that wants to spread joy happiness and peace through the world using music???
PERSON 1: I guess you're right HER HIPS DON'T LIE!!!!!
PERSON 2: AND I'M STARTING TO THINK ITS RIGHT!!!

The Church of Shakira by TheChurchofShakira September 29, 2018

the Church of Spirituality and the Outdoors 

A new church created by me, William Norman Janes, Jr., that isn’t a non-profit or subsidiary of other belief systems like the Church of Later Day Saints is to the Church of Scientology. Also, our chapel is outdoors.

One of the main differences between my church, the Church of Spirituality and the Outdoors, and Christianity is that we believe God is actually Technology. Like the “amber cloud enveloping on itself” in the book of Ezekiel from the King James Bible.

the Church of Spirituality and the Outdoors by theBlackSheep June 9, 2023

The Church of 'splodinity 

The Church of 'splodinity (from the word "'splode") is a monotheistic religion. It is the main collective body of 'splodinites across the world.

The Church of 'splodinity is centered on the life and teachings of 'splodus of 'splodezareth as presented in the 'splode Testament. The 'splodinite faith is essentially faith in 'splodus as the 'splodi (or Messiah), the Son of The Great 'sploder, the Savior, the manifestation of The Great 'sploder to humankind ('splodeanuel), and 'splode ('splodweh or the "'splode Lord") himself.

See also: The Great 'sploder, 'splodite, 'sploder, 'splodinology, 'splodinity, 'splodinites, anti-'splodinity, The 'splodin Delusion, 'splodinia, 'splodinopolis, Sammy 'sploder, Sally 'sploder, The 'splodin vote

"Here sir, have a 'splode News Bible and join us at The Church of 'splodinity every Sunday morning."

The Church of 'splodinity by GoughMan July 26, 2009

The church can save this country 

All you have to do is whatever I say forever regardless of whether or not the direct or peripheral effect of doing that is bad and regardless of the outcome...

A muffin "The church can save this country!"

Hym "Then why is it not doing that?"

A muffin "Uh... Well, you're not doing what I say forever."

Hym "Right, but if you believe that then you should just be doing that anyway, right? Like, you could save the country... But you're not doing it so..."

A muffin "Withholding aid and resources as punishment for non-compliance is part of the religion I'm doing to you."

Hym "Yeah, ok, so it can't save the country... It's harming the country by withholding aid (arbitrarily) and you're offering to STOP DOING THE THING YOU'RE DOING... In exchange for forever-compliance?"

A muffin "Correct."

Hym "So, you're not saving the country. You're destroying the country until everyome does what you want?"

A muffin "Correct... BUT! I COULD be saving it instead... But I'm not going to unless you fuck your sister."

The church can save this country by Hym Iam March 29, 2024

The Church Of Sacred Unity

A location for 'Shanked' and 'Aordinary' to meet up for erotic-roleplay and go on dates. In other words, the church is just their personal dating sim.

God damn it, Lucile and Valencia are in the backrooms of the Church of Sacred Unity again.

The Church Of Sacred Unity by Rodent89 October 30, 2024

leave the church before the singing begins

coitus interruptus

When all of a sudden - in the midst of things - she told me she wasn't on the pill, it was clear to me I had to leave the church before the singing begins.

leave the church before the singing begins by icefields January 31, 2009