One who is oblivious to all but their mobile phone to the detriment of those around them. Most particularly while commuting and disrupting traffic.
The term is derived from a specific reference to the inappropriate use of a mobile device in a public setting when it affects others negatively. It is the combination of "tele" referring to phones and the use of the common U.K. term "cunt" which is the approximate usage equivalent of "asshole" in the U.S.
"That dumbass Telecunt, stopped to text in the middle of the sidewalk like he was the only one there."
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'