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Swab the Deck 

When an intense shit becomes either/or too messy or too burny and one is forced to dunk a was of toilet paper in the toilet bowl before wiping. (after a flush of course)
"My asshole is on fire! I need to swab the deck!
Swab the Deck by jjv3b7 February 11, 2010

swab the deck 

When someone is told to swab the deck, they are being told to either eat a dick or clean a dick, depending on the context.
Pirate: Arrr!! Fundo. Swab the deck!!
Fundo: No way!! I ain't touching your smegma!!
Pirate: Arrrr!! Then, swab the deck, Fundo!!
swab the deck by authOOr June 29, 2006

Swab the poop deck 

A sexual act where you dip your penis in lukewarm soapy water then proceed to rub it along your partner's anus in a mopping motion.
I brought Becky up to my room and she totally let me swab the poop deck.

Swab the poop deck 

when a pirate is giving anal sex to a captive
yarrrrr!!! I'll swab your poop deck!
Swab the poop deck by Derek January 14, 2004