From the depths of the Abyss we rise, silent and unseen. We live our lives in silence and darkness, bringing death to those that oppose the American Way. The Army may march, the Air Force will soar, and the Marines will crawl, but a Submariner is a force of nature that is unseen and unheard until it is too late. From beneith the waves we bring death from above and below. We rip the stars from the heavens to rain destruction around the world. Hidden by wave and shadow, escorted by the Leviathan, Posiedon himself bows to us. Fear us, for we are the unknown, the unknowable. We are Death.
Seaman Shmuckatelli, qualified Submarines.
*Ding Ding, Ding Ding*
*AWOOOOOOGA! AWOOOOOOGA!*
(Later, on shore)
Women: Oh my god, he's got dolphins! I want him so bad, he's a submariner!
A Big Submariner is the commander of submariners. They are usually small infants that wear horridly stinky poopy diapers. This strange phenomenon is usually seen at their den, which is kind of like a river now. They are also known to participate in the act of human sacrifice by pushing pregnant women in front of trains. Remember to watch out for when he submerges, for hearing a Big Sub's whine is the equivalence of listening to an airplane go super sonic.
Me: My god, sir are you okay?
Old man: No, me be seein' one in Lexington
Me: Saw what?
Old man: It be huge, son. I be seein' one of 'em Big Submariner...
Me: Oh my, that must've been terrible
Old man: Aye! It almost took me hearin'
Me: My god, what a terrible thing to see, I'm glad you lived!