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spunk tackle 

The tackle you spunk with. Testicles and Penis. Cock and Balls. Twig and Gigggle Berries. Meat and Two Veg. Strawberry Shaft and Vanilla Scoops. Testicle (Pronounced testiclay) & Poking Rod...etc...
PETER: Andy, what's the matter?
ANDY: My wife kicked me in me spunk tackle.
PETER: Dannielle? Whatever for?
ANDY: Coz I said she was a stupid fat fucking minge muncher who was worse in bed that her comatose Mother.

(Brief moment of silence then a hefty High-Five.)
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Spunktacles 

Shooting your muck on the face of a willing partner, framing her eyes in thick ropes of jizz.
"How'd you get on last night mate?"

"Sound. Got a BJ off a scuddie behind a skip. Pulled out just in time to give her a pair of spunktacles!"
Spunktacles by cheesybeef February 9, 2010