shistory

Deliberately twisted or misrepresented ideas about the past, with malicious intent.

Contrast with mishistory

POTUS: "The founding father's intended the United States to be a Christian nation."

SCOTUS: "That's demonstrably false."

POTUS: "It's history baby."

SCOTUS: (Eyeroll) "That's shistory."

shistory by fedora boy February 17, 2013

shistory

A fabricated type of pseudohistory that is typically created and shared with others in some kind of public forum—often seen as a form of shit posting somewhere on the internet. The creation of the pseudo history shitpost—or shistory—is typically intended for humor, internet trolling, misleading a group of people, or to shed light on a particular subject (or a combination of these intents).

Mark: "Hey Ashley! How great was that shistory lesson Ms. Howard gave us about the battalion in the Civil War that rode grizzly bears instead of horses?!?"
Ashley: "It was hilarious! I had no idea where she was going with it either, but boy did she fool us!"

shistory by YeezusLives August 31, 2016

Shitstory 

The one sided perspective of history that gets taught in school and that people use to make stupid political arguments.
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History is shit, and the shittiest part is that no one fucking learns anything from past mistakes. Because the way history is told, it's shit. The victorious write their point of view and the others suck their injuries. And in telling what happened, the victorious add so much bullshit to the actual facts, but people are taught to be superficial and not question what they get tought in school. We needed a new name for the historical fairy land some people believe in. So. Shitstory.

"He kept saying the crusades where completely different from the jihad. That they were defensive"
"Ignore him. All he knows is shitstory

Shitstory by Caligola April 5, 2017

Canada's History 

A sex act performed often by members of Canada's high society in which maple syrup is poured generously onto the crotch of the willing female, who then mounts the face of a moose by holding onto its antlers. The Moose encouraged by the presence of the sweet syrup performs cunnilingus on the woman while the Stanley Cup is positioned below to collect the drippings. Once a sufficient volume is collected the willing male participant dips his erect phallus into the cup prior to insertion into the Moose's anus (preferably before the Moose has slurped up all the syrup). Depending upon the size of the phallus inserted into the Moose, one of two results will occur:

(1) the Moose will become agitated to some degree of insanity and attempt to buck off both the man and woman. At this point, if the couple lasts at least 8 seconds and both reach the point of orgasm, they win the Stanley Cup. This is referred to as the "Two Canucks, One Cup" Rodeo.

(2) the Moose will become aroused, and will proceed to insert itself into the female. If the female is unwilling, a suitable midget replacement will suffice.

Oh, snap! Did you see Steven Colbert and Sarah Palin do Canada's History to Bullwinkle while Rocky watched?

Canada's History by wizztopizz February 9, 2010

Shitory 

Adjective, combined from "shit" and "history".

1. Used to explain a past relationship which ended badly or left a lot of bad memories.

2. Used to describe a period of time (days, months, years) that are inconsequential to the story being told.

3. Can also be used to describe a period of black out / memory loss associated with various substances

1. A: yea man... we broke up last year... I met her at the bar, and well the rest is shitory

2. B: Dude, last night was crazy.. We bought two bottles of tequila each, went to a strip club.. and the rest is shitory

Shitory by DrBish August 5, 2010

Australia's History 

1. A sex act where a passive partner finds the biggest prison dweller he can possibly find, to reunite with him in a darkest, dampest, most isolated dungeon that can be procured. the big guy then binds the passive one's limbs with barbed wire, sews a perfectly crafted miniature union jack on his right tit, gets a good hold of him and furiously rams him down under while both chant "God Save the Queen" in perfect unison. The passive partner then runs away jumping like an injured kangaroo and mooing like a pained cow., until he finds a bush and shits behind it like a camper. He then yells the big guy to get over there so that he can suck his dick. Bonus point if finding black people on the course of the act, pushing them out of the blue as hard as possible and then throwing alcohol/drugs on them while saying "I am a true gentleman". Be careful to run fast before they have a chance to react though, or the whole day spent on your fun Australia's History could be ruined.

1. William: I did Australia's History last night. I got the stud's number and everything.
Noah: I never have done that. It sounds... gay
William: u wot m8? Where's your patriotic spirit cunt? Don't you have love for this country!?

Australia's History by SHITCOCK April 4, 2015

Canada's History 

The most depraved sexual act known to mankind kept as a hidden secret from Canada to preserve its' innocence. In detail, the ******** are inserted into ******* using the ******* with ******** moose antlers ****** **** ***** maple syrup **** ***** around five times ***** *** ******* until the **** ***** affectionately called "the Mounties" use **** ***** all over the ****. The resulting **** ***** *** ****** are then used as lubricant for ******** **** **** into ****** **** **** with ***** **** **** Stanley Cup.

I can't believe we just did Canada's History.

Canada's History by EvilLepper February 5, 2010