Progress Reports 

When the school you curently attend decides to fuck with you and sends all your bad grades home so your parents can bitch at you.

Mom: "Oh, look! A letter!"
Kid: "Noooo!"
Mom: "I wonder what...OH FUCK! GET IN YOUR FUCKING ROOM AND GODDAMN STUDY!"
Kid: "Fucking progress reports..."

Progress Reports by boredlikehell34 December 19, 2008

tps reports

Most commonly known to the average worker as a Totally Pointless Stuff Report, management views these as

Sending a list of completed goals to your management because they are too lazy to read a standard status report to get updates.

tps reports by BoB December 23, 2003

retortoise 

Someone who thinks of a witty response too late for it to be funny. A combination of the word retort and tortoise.

That would have been funny five minutes ago, too bad you're a retortoise.

retortoise by JuanNephrota August 14, 2012

tps reports

We use them at work, Used to be called
Project Reports. I managed to get the
report retitled on the form as
Total Project Summary Report, now referred to as TPS reports, giggles from us, blank stares from them.

tps reports by Anonymous September 8, 2003

Retort 

- verb

1) To reply to, usually in a sharp or retaliatory way; reply in kind to.

2) To return (an accusation, epithet, etc.) upon the person uttering it.

3) To answer (an argument or the like) by another to the contrary.

- noun

4) A severe, incisive, or witty reply, esp. one that counters a first speaker's statement, argument, etc.

5) A glass device used for distillation or dry distillation in chemistry.

6) A furnace used for cremating dead bodies.

7) An industrial pressure cooker.

Andre- Yo, man. I think that bitch I was hittin' last night put the burn on me, man.

Archibald- Perhaps you should refrain, forhtwith, from engaging in intimate relations with your mother. (retort)

Andre- Fuck you, man. (also retort)

blub blub blub (also also retort)

fwooooooosh! (also also also retort)

Retort by Speak and Spell February 28, 2009

tps reports

Pointless busy-work assigned to you by your boss, often a list of completed goals.

Reffered to in the movie "Office Space", when Peter Gibbons's boss lectures him on the 'proper way to file TPS reports'.

tps reports by Joe February 20, 2004

Retorted 

Someone who is absolutely awful at comebacks, reputations, and retorts. Often times their replies are met with awkward stares and silence.

Bob: you have no chill

Bill: Yeah, well... YOUR MOM!

Bob: Are you retorted?

Retorted by xJoshAndStuffx October 19, 2014