female rationalization hamster

Rationalization Hamster - It is a creature that inhabits the female brain and helps them spin out rationalizations when they get into a predicament. When faced with a a dilemma, the female brain that houses the rationalization hamster, causes the hamster to start working by jumping on its wheel and running really hard. In the process it spins out a rationalization – an excuse, that absolves the woman of the blame and predicates it upon farcical self- justification.

Female - I know it is not his baby, but if I don't tell him that, it's not actually a lie. After all, I won't be hurting his feelings.

Guy - Wow! So you believe it's not a lie when you make him falsely believe that the child is his, and hide the fact that you lied to and cheated on him?

Female - It just happened like that. I was heavily drunk and was not thinking clearly. So it's not my fault, you see.

Guy - Damn, that female rationalization hamster must be working overtime!

by DDwd5 February 23, 2014

rationalization hamster

The rationalization hamster is a legendary creature dwelling deep in the minds of the self-delusional, and is particularly common among young liberal women. From birth, the rationalization hamster enters a symbiotic relation with its host, whereby whenever the host feels a craving to do something completely insane and malicious that will have horrible consequences for everyone in the long run, the rationalization hamster will jump on its wheel and run really, really fast, getting the magical hamster wheel to spin out a long sheet of paper full of neat rationalizations for the ultimately devastating action.

Rationalization hamsters are thought to be a key component in producing liberal scholarly works, particularly those of feminism. Young, liberated women often rely on it to explain their attraction to the asshole who is going to pump and dump them, as well as their contempt for the nice guy who, unaware of the hamster within, strives fruitlessly to gain their true love. Older, liberated women also rely on it for dumping their husbands and using the resulting child support money on jewellery, cars and/or crack.

The adulterer: Well, it's okay to lie about cheating on him and say it's his baby, as long as his feelings aren't hurt!

Some dude: Whoa, you think it's okay to lie, cheat and commit paternity fraud on your man? Your rationalization hamster must be working overtime!

The adulterer: But it's not my fault I slept around, it kinda just happened! And those guys probably raped me because I don't really like them right now anymore...

Some dude: Hot dang, that's one tough hamster!

by rampaging teddybear of wub December 14, 2012

self rationalization

1. When actual reality conflicts with ones view of reality, the afflicted person rationalizes a permutation of reality that 'feels' better.

2. Typically expresses an inability to distinguish between fact and opinion.

3. Lying to oneself.

Claiming there were dinosaurs on Noah's ark is an exercise in self rationalization.

by D0gvomit December 19, 2016

creeping rationalization

When a person is given permission to use something only in an emergency and their rationalization of what constitutes an "emergency" becomes laxer and laxer each time they want the thing.

I told Bob he could use my car only in an emergency but last night his creeping rationalization made him think that missing the basketball game was an emergency.

by BillyBuggy November 16, 2010

Irrational Rationalization

"Irrational Rationalization", or "IR", is a commonplace, non-communicable infection of cranial cognition. People whom are exposed to this infection display a number of degraded brain cells, deprivation of motor skills, and failure to comprehend logic. "IR" is displayed when one, online, debates a fairly irrelevant point to an other. Hence the name, rationalization shown by the person infected is at a very low layer of mentality. For example, when the person debates about a sort of social media plot, the host will use derogatory language, such as, "faggot", a slang term created by humans because why not. Hosts also show many usages of deus ex machina, cutting into the other conflicts of people. One more way people exhibit "IR" is by collapsing on their own statements. This is a more widespread way of IR, utilized mostly on social media sites.
"IR" has no specific cure. However, "IR" is usually prevented by:
- Thinking more frequently
- Reading a book instead of performing inane stunts for publicity
- Avoiding putting gelid objects on your head
Psychotherapy sessions may be available for diagnosing "IR", although that is very unlikely.

Person A.: "lel your just jelous because your not smart #hashtagsaresoimportant"
Person B.: "According to this, you're jealous of me for having an advanced education in English. Irrational rationalization's bad."
Person C.: "I agree, Person A should take a diagnosis for the IR infection."

by Ninja of Logic August 21, 2014

Rationalization

The idea Christians can't comprehend.

Christian: I believe in God, because the Bible says so!
Rational thinker: have you tried rationalization with the Bible?
Christian: What is that? Sounds like science, and science is evil!
Rational thinker: *FACE-PALM*

by ChristoPhedora May 21, 2016

Rationalization of Evil

The psychological process of concocting emotionally plausible, self-serving excuses to justify one's own or one's group's harmful, cruel, or immoral actions. It uses the language of reason—practical necessity, greater good, victim-blaming, or righteous retaliation—to evade moral responsibility and soothe cognitive dissonance. The rationale is crafted after the decision to do harm, not as its guide.

Example: A colonial administrator rationalizing the exploitation of a colony might tell himself, "We're bringing them civilization and saving them from themselves. It's for their own good, even if they don't understand it yet." This Rationalization of Evil dresses up greed and violence in the noble costume of a "civilizing mission."

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 4, 2026