v. To sit in waiting, for example, outside a public library and sniff ladies bicycle seats immediately after their owner has dismounted and gone inside. Also to snudge.
Well, Smithy, if you must know, I was over quumfing at the pre-med conference.
(noun) A gargantuan erect penis so engorged with blood, it is on the verge of exploding in a storm of meat, causing its owner to walk as if he dropped a log in his pants.
"Why are you walking like that?"
"I've got a massive quuolph right now."
"You should see a doctor to get that checked out."