Pork Pie 

A metaphor for the genitals of a female pensioner. Derived from the fact that in the case of both the pork pie and the pensioner's minge, one must wipe off the crust and lick out the jelly before one reaches the meat.

1. 'She looked young, but when we got down to business she surprised me with her Pork Pie'.

2. 'The crust on her Pork Pie was so thick that I needed sandpaper to wipe it off, and then there was enough jelly to fill three tins of dog food... then, to top it off, when we finally got down to it, she was so saggy that the effect was akin to throwing a sausage down a hallway'.

Pork Pie by ekul November 2, 2005

Pork Pie 

Something that an unamusing fat person demands their partner for (said in an yourkshire accent)

Ross: Do you fancy some pork pie
Clare: Ohhhh yes bab
Ross: Gud, this time not so much jelly though
Clare: Oh me pork pie is kicking out a right pong it must be the crust

Pork Pie by Sarah Thomas April 24, 2008

Pork Pie 

An old ladies fanny: You got to chew through the crust and lick off the jelly to get to the meat. .like a pork pie.

Dickhead 1: Fuck me she's fit!
Dickhead 2: Noway! She must be about 70, I bet she's got a proper pork pie!
Dickhead 1: . .And? All the more flavour. *Licks Lips*

Pork Pie by Superjimmeh February 17, 2009

pork pie 

this is what james' head looks like

''james you have a mouldy pork pie stuck on your shoulders''

pork pie by say no to pork pies May 16, 2004

Pork Pie 

To have sex with a girl.

Are you gunna pork pie her?

Pork Pie by Mike Wrench April 15, 2010

Pork Pie 

A packed out fury of meat, smoothered in a jellied gloop, encased in a golden crust, and slapped between the thighs of a 60+ year old female.

Ooh, I bet Patrice has the tastiest pork pie in the street

Pork Pie by Lord Jebus Thy Saviour June 25, 2021

Pork Pie 

This is a side dish that would come in your wabash hearty meal alongside a pot roast and baked potato. You could get these at the wackle wally huckle berry farm in Snoqualmie run by Michael Pickton up until 94'. He would get his pork for his pork pies sourced from his uncles pig farm headed north on the interstate to canada where his uncle Robert Pickton lived. Thisa Rob pic guy just so happened to be one of canadas worst cereal killer's and if you were an unlucky rat bastard you might just find a piece of a hooker in your pork pie. (He ground up hookers on his pig farm causing cross contamination). After this discovery on the news MikPIk went to see the eternal worm in connietcut while there he got caught in cross fire during a certain school shooting (NOt naming any names but the perpetrators name rhymes with Ldam Aanza). if THEY TOOTS YOUR HORN.

Batu Khan: Hey Eric you ever had a Pork pie in your Wabash Hearty Meal? Turns out you might've ingested an escort!!!!
Eric Klebold: Holy shit really??? Dude I need to tell Dylan about this. Hey Dylan!
Dylan Harris: Yeah?
Eric Klebold: Bro you might've eaten a hooker!!!!!!!!!
Dylan Harris: EWWWW time to go to that one school next a reservoir and do something there if you catch my drift. Before that do you wanna go fishing a tilapia with me Eric?
Eric Klebold: Sure thing man we might run into Ldam Aanza though.
Dylan Harris: Yeah that's OK(C) he sounds like a cool guy.
Dylan Harris: We should to the Okaloosa County Prison and visit my buddy Fat Mike there. I heard he urinated in a sink one time, while sa(ndy)ying he wouldn't mind (hook)ing up with some plumpies on stage.
Eric Klebold: Plumpies? You mean plumbine?
Michael Pickton: Quit yimmer yammerin and get back to Mr. P. Murrahs class you dumb dirty sick motherfucks!

Eric Klebold and Dylab Harris: Yes sir. Thank you sir.
Batu Khan: намайг Бат хаан гэдэг.
Rob Pick: Owchie this broomstick handle really hurts. I don't like grinding up hookers because it really hurts. I heard Adam Lanza is gay.

Part 2 Coming Soon. Find out what Dylan and Eric do at the reservoir.

Pork Pie by Mongolian Enthusiast September 2, 2025