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Brnstig

Brnstig : (pronounced as if it were spelled "brunshtig") backside, the buttocks, the bumcheeks, the chuddies, arse etc. Generally considered one of the more offensive definitions for the buttocks, given its extreme lack of vowels.

Origin : Eastern European street name, re-defined by touring musicians.
1. "Kiss my Brnstig"
2. "That girl's Brnstig is so large that it's pratically overflowing from her underpants"
3. "Get ready for me to thrunge your Brnstig with a lamp-post, in preparation for a good old Croach."
by ekul June 10, 2004
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Fench

Fench : paradoxical act of aggression - as a fench is entirely unprovoked, any retribution won't serve as due revenge, because the revenge was provoked by the fench. No prior warning can be given to the victim, and a fench cannot be used as a threat, becase these both imply provocation of some sort - a fench must be an act of wanton, spontaneous violence.

In other words, an act of aggression so successful that full revenge is impossible.
Can be used in various forms to describe the act of aggression (usually resulting in comic humiliation of the victim), the aggressor and the victim, ie:

1. "I've just witnessed a particularly amusing fench"
2. "I've just been fenched"
3. "You're worse than a bastard - you're a fencher!"
by ekul August 10, 2004
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Slunce

Slunce : profoundly bad diarrhoea. Usually reminiscent of a waterfall and/or volcanic explosion.

Causes : very hot curry, polluted water, etc.

Treatment : much wiping usually required. Advisable to drink lots of water.
1. "I ate a vindaloo last night, and filled the bog with slunce this morning."

Can also be used as an insult, ie:
1. "Your face is about as attractive as a bucket of slunce."
2. "This food tastes/looks like slunce."
3. "Your essay is utter slunce."
by ekul May 26, 2004
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McGregor

The term used to describe the hideous, vaginal bulge often spotted in obese and older women. A McGregor is particularly noticeable in tight trousers; "dustbin bag full of yoghurt" is a good metaphor for this phenomenon.

The McGregor often conceals a pork pie.
"I would have shagged her, but I was worried that her wobbling McGregor might crush my cock completely."

"If you continue eating at such a rate, you'll soon find a monster McGregor stretching the seems of your underwear."
by ekul December 5, 2007
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Croach

Croaching : The act of cramming the anus with Branflakes and allowing crows to feast upon them.

Origin : bizarre sexual punishment/fetish, probably related to the partakers of the sports known as "rowing" or "rugby".
1. I feel like a croach
2. S/he needs to be croached
3. I've just been given a good croaching
4. "Stop behaving badly, or I'll have you croached"
by ekul May 25, 2004
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Brolly-whopping

Brolly-whopping : the act of inserting an umbrella into the anus, follwed by repeated opening and closing of the parasol.

The term can be used when speaking of beach parasols as well as umbrellas.

Origin : sexual fetish/punishment of German descent.
1. "I've just been brolly-whopped."
2. "This pornography movie would be vastly improved by the addition of a brolly-whopping scene."
3. "I fancy a brolly-whopping."

Can also be used as a threat, ie:
1. "Shut the hell up, lest I give you a brolly-whopping."
by ekul May 26, 2004
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Pork Pie

A metaphor for the genitals of a female pensioner. Derived from the fact that in the case of both the pork pie and the pensioner's minge, one must wipe off the crust and lick out the jelly before one reaches the meat.
1. 'She looked young, but when we got down to business she surprised me with her Pork Pie'.

2. 'The crust on her Pork Pie was so thick that I needed sandpaper to wipe it off, and then there was enough jelly to fill three tins of dog food... then, to top it off, when we finally got down to it, she was so saggy that the effect was akin to throwing a sausage down a hallway'.
by ekul November 2, 2005
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