ONAN 

Stands for One Network America News network. Sometimes mistakenly referred to OAN, ONAN is a small-time, mom's basement "news" operation. Shows are typically hosted by distended colons and strung-out gap-toothed cam girls. Owned by Gil "Red" Herring, their only real claim to fame is the manufacture and marketing of matching sets of presidential knee pads and butt snorkels.

"Did you see that 'reporter' from ONAN at the federal conronavirus briefing? What do you think will happen first--she finally gets her adult teeth, or she promotes out of fifth grade this year?"

ONAN by ToddUncommon April 7, 2020

onan 

Short-hand for "on another note"

Grace: are u going to Chad's party on Friday?

Ben: nah too many frat boys. onan do u wanna go Chilli's on Sat?

onan by ittybittysmalls September 11, 2019

Onan 

Amazingly kind heart, you find yourself attracted to his smile. He will always be there to lend a helping hand

Call Onan, he knows everything.

Onan by Chips505 December 10, 2016

Onan 

A dumbass, usually shit at life. You may also tell that he is horrible at soccer

"Yo, Onan why are you so bad at soccer?"

Onan by ForniteSniper017 September 2, 2018

Onan the Barbarian 

Someone who jerks off a lot.

Where were you?

Rubbing one out.

Again?
I'm so horny, I'm Onan the Barbarian right now!

Onan the Barbarian by Shuaman October 20, 2020

Onan the Barbarian 

Someone who masturbates a lot.

You rubbing one out again?

I know, I'm Onan the Barbarian right now.

Onan the Barbarian by Shuaman November 1, 2020

Disciple of Onan 

From the Book of Genesis: Onan and Er were brothers; when Er died, their father Jacob decided that Onan should assume matrimonial duties with Er's childless widow. However, instead of completing the act, Onan "spilled his seed on the ground". God considered this an evil act and Onan was slain for it.

A man was observed on the London Underground practicing the faith of a Disciple of Onan. Police were called and apprehended the suspect.

Disciple of Onan by BF1971 May 7, 2019