On Jesus

On Jesus is a phrase which is saying no lie or no cap, basically when someone is telling the truth.

Person 1: “On Jesus he was wrong for what he did”
Person 2: “You’re going to that party on Saturday right?” On Jesus I am.

by Realtalk3500 October 20, 2021

Hooked on Jesus

crazy church goer
one that takes the longest to testify

She couldnt stay for the movie because she had to go back to church.. Yo she hooked on Jesus

by glorray February 20, 2010

high on jesus

Elated in a religious fashion mostly found in born again christians and recovering alchoholics. Constantly preaching christian values and quoting the bible.

Your mom is so high on jesus I can't stand it.

by xylena June 22, 2006

Hatin' on Jesus

Falsely accusing someone of doing something wrong when in fact that person did nothing wrong. Similar to someone hating on Jesus for........ I don't know why someone would hate on Jesus. All he did was help people and "they" killed him. Ain't that a bitch!?!

Person 1: Hey, my car won't start! I let you use my car for one day and you broke it! What the fuck?

Person 2: Calm down bro! Your battery was old and needed to be replaced so I sent Parker to the store to get a new one for you. So basically you're hating on Jesus. Why you hatin' on Jesus bro? Why you hatin' on Jesus.

by MoneyMatt573 December 17, 2010

Hooked on Jesus

Upper class slang for being hooked on cocaine

Rich Girl: I'm quite hooked on Jesus

by Brandybeer July 17, 2006

Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone

The act of clinging to a toilet basin throwing up violently after a heavy night of binge drinking.

So named after the fashion of sticking your head into the bowl and shouting the name of our Lord between spasms.

BLEURGH!!! Oh Jesus, BLEEEHHRRRK!!! Oh Lord, BLOOOORGH!!!! Aw Christ, HUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRGH!!!!! etc

by ..WiL May 24, 2005

Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick

Exclamation of disbelief.

From the song "Stuart," by The Dead Milkmen:

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's the Werzner kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick! Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?"

by SwankSpike April 13, 2006