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I was fucking all of the women... But I was just, uh, oh so miserable but now I've learned my lesson, guys 

Oh, yes, I was really just sooooo miserable while I was fucking all of the women but NOW... NOW I've learned my lesson, guys. I see now that what EVERYONE should want... Is just one... That's what we should all do from now on, right guys? We should all just agree to just not do the thing I did... Because it was soooo bad for ME AND WOMEN... I just didn't understand! Right!? I just didn't get it but now I DO get it and I was just oh so sad... Now that I'm dome doing it we should just all agree to not do the thing I was just now doing a minute ago, right? I was such a fucking scumbag... For doing that... You don't want to be a scumbag, do you? I mean, I'm not anymore because I improved... You know you should probably improve too, right? I was just oh so bad for doing that... BUT NOT ANYMORE! Not anymore... Now I'm fine... But it was just oh so bad for me to do that... YOU definitely shouldn't want or do that because then you're an evil psychopath, right Jordan? Right? But I'm not a psychopath anymore am I Jordan? Even though I was just there doing the thing that the you said makes people a psychopath, right? The thing that never changes or goes away? I was doing that but now I stop so Jordan will let me hook myself up to his trough... Right Jordan? Isn't it terrible the thing I was just doing there a second ago? No one should seek to do the thing I just did because it's just so bad... Come on guys! We can all improve together! We can all stop doing the thing I was doing!
Fat-cock former atheist convert "I was fucking all of the women... But I was just, uh, oh so miserable but now I've learned my lesson, guys"

Hym "Yeahyeah, I've heard it all before dipshit. It's the same fucking story for all of you. It's like a fucking incantation. Say the magic words and you're absolved of your sins. I'm supposed to sit here and fucking praise you for doing a thing that you now think is wrong. 'He's so humble now (and not before)! He really has learned his lesson!' 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 And this is where Jordan chimes in with his bitch-ass and says 'Now, you can't fucking say you wouldn't have done the thing so something-something wisdom so you have to forgive him now because something-something incest cult' We hate excuses... Except when we can get a charlatan to make them for us. Then are excuse are all that matter, right? I make excuses? Bad. He does a thing that is bad. Here comes captain fucking delusions of authority 'Something-something excuses for this fucking guy' like a fucking cuck. Daddy steps in to save his fucking fat-cock son. Whatever, right? Just shut up and do the fucking incest ritual with the whore he fucking reemed out."

my moms a lesbian 

What happens when you have 300% more mom than you do dad? You get a fucked up childhood. Children with more than two moms tend to hate "your mom" jokes, and the questions that follow them, like "which one?" Lesbians, as we all know, are sex crazy mother fuckers. Imagine having to live with that. And you know when your one mom is on her period, and she's a raging bitch? Imagine having to deal with that twice a month.
Ben: hey Logan, your mom is a lesbian. Ha.
Logan: My moms a lesbian. But At least i have a mom you choch.
Ben:... Can i have one?
Logan: For 10.99 a month, she's yours.
Ben: Any price is worth the gift of motherhood

whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous 

The maximum limit of proper terms alot like the predisessor accept it will instantly grant you insane levels of power,

Friend: whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous are you talking to?
You: what do you mean I'm alone?
Friend: whispers to someone*

You: whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous are you talking to?
Friend: wipes forehead*
You: bro whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous forehead did you just wipe?
Friend: visibly nervous
Friend: whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous are you talking to?
You: what do you mean I'm alone?
Friend: whispers to someone*

You: whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous are you talking to?
Friend: wipes forehead*
You: bro whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous forehead did you just wipe?
Friend: visibly nervous

the Lesbian living in my basement 

A lesbian that was caught on the way out of the closet that now lives in your basement eating milk and crackers and claims most of you time.
a)so what are we going to do tomorrow?
b)sorry we'll have to plan later the lesbian living in my basement ecscaped and wants me to play risk with her
a)can't you say no or later?
b) umm... she rocking on the back of my chair yelling so not really...

whomst'd've'ly'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'ric'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous

The ultimate form of asking for some sex
Man:whomst'd've'ly'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'ric'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous sex?
Hooker: I think I had a stroke.

Say Less My Guy 

Say less my guy is just there for an everyday perfect moment.
Teacher: Go to the office

Me: Say less my guy