I was drunk 

The universal excuse for a temporary lapse in judgement while intoxicated.

I didn't mean to call you a bitch, I was drunk.

I didn't mean to sleep with your boyfriend, I was drunk.

I was drunk by JenThe80'sFan September 30, 2004

I'll have you know that I was drunk 

Excuse for the most embarrasing acts one can do. Often ends with: at the time of the fight, mooning, streaking, gay orgy, party, chumba wumba dance, felching, belching, farting, public Defecation, vomiting, monkey licking, pole humping, and the list goes on and on. Sometimes said as: I'll have you know that me and: the monkey, sasquatch, your girlfriend, or monkey sasquatch girlfriend, were both drunk at the time. If you're a recovering alcoholic, don't use it after you beat the crap out of a liquor store owner.

I'll have you know that I was drunk at the time of the floor buffer incident.

I'll have you know that I was drunk by Jim E. Junk March 15, 2006

If I Was Drinking Milk 

Derives from when a person is drinking milk and someone says something so funny the person consuming the milk cannot help but laugh whilst drinking. The cause of this is milk to go flying everywhere.

Normally expressed on online chats when some one quotes a horrificly funny and well timed joke. Such as Typing Leroy Jenkins Whilst charging your whole army at your opponent in a total war game (TW).

Person A tell's a hysterical joke.

Person B: If I was Drinking Milk right now....

If I Was Drinking Milk by Papa C 617 October 6, 2011