Skip to main content

human bidet 

human bidet is that special class of creature that feels the need to prostrate themself behind bosses, managers, social higher ups such that they give an extra ass cleaning, far beyond the normal ass kissing. Human bidets are close relatives but much luckier than human urinals, who constantly get pissed on by everyone.
That idiot got promoted ahead of me. He wouldn't have got this far if he wasn't such a human bidet!
human bidet by EvilSchmoo June 30, 2005
human bidet mug front
Get the human bidet mug.
See more merch

Human bidet 

Using the face, mouth and tongue to clean someone’s ass after taking a dump. Sometimes referred to human toilet paper or htp. It described to be very arousing and once someone has properly experienced this event they dont want it any other. Can be recorded being a common practice with concubines.
She is sooo hot I wish I could be her human bidet.
Human bidet by Tina’s December 16, 2021

Human Bidet 

When someone spits saliva or urine into another persons butthole.
Make sure you use the human bidet after you take a dump.
Human Bidet by BeBuc May 25, 2011

Human Bidet 

the human Bidet can be done solo, with two people, and even with a group. a solo human Bidet is when you take a shit and you pee while still sitting down and it rolls down your nut and taint and cleans your bum. the human Bidet with a partner is the same, but one person gets up and the other pisses on their bumhole, this one is much more effective. the group human Bidet is the same but with a bunch of people pissing on the poopers bumhole, this is the most effective variant.
"dear diary, today I shitted and ran out of kittens to wipe with, but thankfully I peed and it was a human Bidet, so it was ok in the end"

"hey playbou carti can you give me some human Bidet"

"precinct 6 get to hemorrhoid street ASAP, there's a guy here who needs some group human Bidet"

Human Piss Bidet

Someone straddles a person sitting on a toilet. The person on top takes a poop between the legs of the person on bottom. The person on bottom then urinates on the top person's butt hole to clean them.
Hey Owen can you come and be my human piss bidet? - Wade
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006
Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

girl grip 

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.
I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.
girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023
Word of the Day on July 21, 2026