the grand master of the universe. he knows anything and everything, including your Roblox password. he can read your thoughts and find out what your darkest desires are. it is he who knows what your ultimate fetish is, and who your crush is. he knows if you’re gay or straight (doesn’t matter to him, though). he knows if you talk shit about him on the
internet behind his back. he has an
eye in the back of his
head, and he can lick his own elbow, too. he can also
beat you at chess no matter how good at chess you are, and he
will bust a cap in anyone’s ass at a moment’s notice. his diet consists of the tears of little children across the earth and twinkies.