The largest town - and administrative capital - of south-west Scotland.
A once pleasant market town, Dumfries is now colonised by weegies, rich Anglo settlers and Luftwaffe-trained seagulls. Every July the town stages an annual festival called 'Guid Nychburris' (Good Neighbours.) This, however, is merely an excuse for the town's dwellers to engage in the modern British pasttimes of
excessive drinking, street violence and unplanned
procreation. It is to be avoided at all costs.
The town's only saving graces are
Queen of the South FC and the proximity of the beautiful Galloway countryside.