Every parent assumed that whatever alchemy of good genes and good credit had gotten his child a spot at the prep school was the same one that would land him a spot at a hyper-selective college. It was true that a quarter of the class went to the Ivy League, and another quarter to places such as Stanford, MIT, and Amherst. But that still left half the class, and I was the one who had to tell their parents that they were going to have to be flexible. Before each meeting, I prepared a list of good colleges that the kid had a strong chance of getting into, but these parents didn’t want colleges their kids had a strong chance of getting into; they wanted colleges their kids didn’t have a chance in hell of getting into. A successful first meeting often consisted of walking them back from the crack pipe of Harvard to the Adderall crash of Middlebury and then scheduling a follow-up meeting to douse them with the bong water of Denison.
Denison University
Denison University
by diarrhea-asmr August 4, 2021
A ridiculous oasis in central Ohio where the former prep school kids from the east coast go to spend their trust funds on sleeping with girls and cocaine. This little school on the hill is the envy of every other school in Ohio. While we can all agree that Ohio is a dismal place, Denison provides an experience second to none as far as absurd college memories and possibly a mild to moderate drug addiction. Even though the Fraternity/Sorority system is not what it used to be you can be sure that anyone will have a great time while on the Dunes.
Dude 1: Hey man where did you go to school?
Dude 2: Oh I went to Denison University.
Dude 1: I once went there and had the time of my life.
Dude 2: Standard
Dude 1: Hey where did you go to school?
Dude 2: I went to Denison University.
Dude 1: Oh...I went to OWU.
Dude 2: I'm sorry to hear that.
Dude 1: Me too.
Dude 2: Oh I went to Denison University.
Dude 1: I once went there and had the time of my life.
Dude 2: Standard
Dude 1: Hey where did you go to school?
Dude 2: I went to Denison University.
Dude 1: Oh...I went to OWU.
Dude 2: I'm sorry to hear that.
Dude 1: Me too.
by Denidude April 24, 2009
A private liberal art university located in majestic Granville Ohio. This school has great parties. Also, it has the best drugs in the whole mid-west/east coast. It's marijuana strains of, Van Gogh, Purple Voltron have been featured in High Times. This is all thanks to the KZ's and Ripp $tarr which run the schools party and social scene.
Student 1: Hey where'd you get that amazing molly and chronic?
Student 2: I got it from Denison University.. And it's not just any chronic bro, it's that Van Gough. Here take a hit.
Student 1: (cough cough) WHOA this shit taste like fruity pebbles and melts your face. I gotta go to Denison University.
Student 2: Yeah the KZ's and Ripp Starr run shit there.
Student 2: I got it from Denison University.. And it's not just any chronic bro, it's that Van Gough. Here take a hit.
Student 1: (cough cough) WHOA this shit taste like fruity pebbles and melts your face. I gotta go to Denison University.
Student 2: Yeah the KZ's and Ripp Starr run shit there.
by Ripp Starr September 25, 2011
hey--you goin to denison university?
and the truck driver said, denison university?
why yes i am.
so i got in the truck.
and here i am.
again.
and the truck driver said, denison university?
why yes i am.
so i got in the truck.
and here i am.
again.
by beaner greener September 10, 2006
- Yo dude, I'm going to Kenyon, did you get in?
- No man, I'll be going to Denison University.
- Haha that sucks. Tool.
- No man, I'll be going to Denison University.
- Haha that sucks. Tool.
by TimB88 July 27, 2008
A small school in Granville, Ohio where all the rich stuck up daddy's girls and boys go to school. In Denison there are two things to do walk into "Downtown" which consist of two ice cream shops or get drunk starting at three in the afternoon. Denison wishes they were as good of a school as Kenyon but they never will be. They are known for Steve Carrel but he's just an actor. Denison is basically a school where the people that will be living off of mommy and daddy for the rest of their lives go to school. Basically people at Denison think they're sweet cause their dad was a doctor or a lawyer but most the people from DU turn out to be big zeros in life.
by John Andener October 8, 2010