Cicada is a multi-powder, ground from the finest
Milo beans from the forests of Bangalore. It is available in all good Supermarkets, Service Stations and
Coffee making facilities.
Cicada now comes with 50% more taste, half the calories and twice the fun! Thats right, 2 times more fun. Our dedicated scientific team has poured their time and effort to bringing you the most delicious
Milo Beans in their most natural state, via 15 separate processing steps. You needn't worry about that though, just sit back and let the
party in your mouth begin with Cicada.
Cicada, due to it's immense popularity has become a cheap addiction of many members of
society, with the Cicada Research Development Team (CRDT)TM attempting to increase it's addictive properties but up to 66% in the near future.
Deemed by some as a 'miracle drug', Cicada can:
- increases shoe size for men, and decreases it for
women
- attack cellulite
- assists you with getting an erection (males mainly), whilst being a cheaper alternative to viagra
- improves dexterity for quicker
sms replies
- reduce Telstra txts to half a cent
- can assist with poker skills, fraud and using clown suits
- reduces heartburn whilst increasing
ur attractiveness by 46%
- pumps enough
blood to both your head and your penis (males mainly)
- increases
ur pickup lines success rate by 134%
- gets red wine out of white shirts, or lipstick
- answers the
door to annoying Jehovah’s witnesses for you!
- be used as an alternative for petrol
With the assistance of fair trade policies, globalisation and panda bears, Cicada is looking to expand it's operations worldwide within the next 8 to 12 days
