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calum hood 

a sensation and bodacious man in aesthetically pleasing outfits, who plays the fucking bass and radiants big dick energy.
DID YOU SEE CALUM HOOD PLAY BASS HE IS FUCKING AMAZING

cucumbrance 

collective noun for a group of very cool people
The Jazz-fest crowd is always just a gawk of tourists – never the cucumbrance of coolsters you'd expect.

Calum Hood 

Calum Hood is in a band called 5 seconds of summer. He's so cute like a little puppy but then .4 seconds later he turns into this sexy little shit. He's so sexy he's just a ball of australian sex. He occasionally slaps the bass but I think he really means ass. He plays soccer too which is also really sexy. He has really nice lips that make you vomit. He glued a Cincinnati Reds snapback to his head. He's the only person on this planet who still looks hot while wearing an Adventure Time watch. He also thinks he's this rapper named Cash Money and he ships himself with Chris Brown.
Random: Have you heard of Calum Hood?

Me: Oh you mean Cash Money? Yea, he's in this australian band and he's so sexy.

Greasy Cucumber 

When a bromance reaches an uncomfortable and an irreversible level.
~ Long, Slimey, and Green
Look at those two greasy cucumbers over there.

Lets play hide the greasy cucumber.

Calum Hood 

The most unappreciated member of 5SOS. He's the bassist in the band- and the one who writes the most songs but isn't given enough credit. Probably the most logical and most intelligent person of the four-piece. Has ethereal melanin and needs to be protected at all costs. Isn't treated with respect and is mostly ignored, but loves the fans immensely no matter what. Likes to make people laugh and is all around a genuinely great person to be around.
Calum Hood by saudadeskies July 17, 2016