ass hands

Hands that are attached to your ass that help you 'back there'. They don't wipe but they do love their peel and eat shrimp!

My ass hands are at the buffet eating peel and eat shrimp.

Damn this shopping is heavy, wish I had a pair of ass hands.

by Doktor Odd August 13, 2007

Ass Hands

When your hands both look and feel like ass. A bizarre peeling condition when the skin on your hands peels off and grow back and the process repeats itself.

I am embarassed by my ass hands, they make it difficult to touch other people.

by Buffdaddy26 March 21, 2009

ass hands

A symtom resulting from handing out ass all day.

Dude, I've gotta rest seeing as how I have a horrible case of ass hands.

by Jaggo March 21, 2004

Ass Hands

Elliot.

Did you see Elliot not wash his hands after taking a shit?!
Yeah bro!! Total ass hands!!

by RareIsGarbage May 1, 2017

Titty ass hands

A lil bitch; stupid ass bitch who’s hands look like saggy old titties

Come at me you titty ass hands bitch

by TiteA$$hanz March 29, 2025

jazz hands ass

A way of describing a fatty ass that jiggles when a person walks.

Haha look at that jazz hands ass!

by Robin Everett August 10, 2006

grab your ass with both hands

To take control of your situation.

Imagine you are stuck and would push ahead with your hands. Now imagine you are grabbing your ass with both hands to push yourself along.

Or grabbing your ass with both hands to lift yourself out of a problem.

Similar to pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, except more evocative.

My crisis-prone neighbor was whining about her latest self-inflicted fiasco.

I told her "grab your ass with both hands" and went out for a beer with my friends.

by Billy Nichols November 14, 2011