The act of doing something so incredibly stupid while trying to get with a girl that it ruins your chances with said female.
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Auto-Cockblock Asphyxiation:
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At the party, Mark was hooking up with this girl. When he tried to ask her to come back to his place, he couldn't remember her name. She got so pissed, she stormed off. He totally auto-cockblock asphyxiated himself!
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Everything was going great with Lauren untill we got in the cab. We were making out in the back for a few minutes when all of the sudden I got the spins real bad from all of those tequila shots. I tried to hold it back, but I threw up all over her. Now she won't answer any of my calls or texts. I completely auto-cockblock asphyxiated myself!
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At the party, Mark was hooking up with this girl. When he tried to ask her to come back to his place, he couldn't remember her name. She got so pissed, she stormed off. He totally auto-cockblock asphyxiated himself!
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Everything was going great with Lauren untill we got in the cab. We were making out in the back for a few minutes when all of the sudden I got the spins real bad from all of those tequila shots. I tried to hold it back, but I threw up all over her. Now she won't answer any of my calls or texts. I completely auto-cockblock asphyxiated myself!
by bar terminology October 18, 2011
Having sex in your running car in a closed garage thus allowing the carbon monoxide to "choke" you and your partner.
Tony and his wife had sex in their crown Vic in the garage and let the fumes choke them while they boned. It was automotive erotic asphyxiation.
by Sparker February 9, 2014
The name given to people guilty of carrying out the act of having a wank while asphyxiating one's self!
Sam caught Andy having a asphyxi wank...
Sam shouted "OMG Andy you're having and asphyxi wank, from now on I'm gonna call you Hank the asphyxi wank!!"
Sam shouted "OMG Andy you're having and asphyxi wank, from now on I'm gonna call you Hank the asphyxi wank!!"
by Dextro tablet March 26, 2010
The act of suffocating one's self with a waist belt in such a way so as to guarantee the complete lack of sexual arousal.
Stephen Colbert's Vasca line of pharmaceuticals, from Prescott Pharmaceuticals, is proud to introduce the Vasca Band. A belt that you place around your neck that constricts your esophagus to prevent finishing your entree and crushes your trachea so you can't order dessert.
Side effects of Vasca Band include: stoppedness of breath, facial bluing and auto-not-at-all-erotic asphyxiation.
Side effects of Vasca Band include: stoppedness of breath, facial bluing and auto-not-at-all-erotic asphyxiation.
by Anti-paradoxical April 27, 2011
by Pleasedon'tkill October 13, 2020
Jjerking off outdoors while using an electrical chord and a tree to choke yourself. It feels so good you yell “woo pig sooie!!!” Local hunter thinks he heard a wild razorback immediately fires one in your head from behind.
My condolences I heard your grandpa died of Arkansas Asphyxiation. Thank you, but we were a little disappointed the coroner ruled it a suicide.
by Kingofthe$outh February 22, 2023
pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.
by MercWidaMouth November 10, 2010