This is derived from, "You should grow a beard!"
"Why?"
"Because you sound like a cunt and act like a cunt so you should look like one!"

Can be used in situations where your colleague knows what you mean but the wider audience hasn't got a clue!
by Tokyo Mickey August 15, 2012
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The single most manly, and great thing a man can do. To have a beard is to be a true man. If you have a beard, show it off proudly, and enjoy the satisfaction of the envy in the eyes of people around you who don't have beards. If you don't have a beard, grow one. If you cant grow one and your not past puberty yet, hold out my young friend, your time will come. If you don't have a beard and your past puberty, go get that sex change you know you need.
True men that had beards: Jesus, Abe Lincoln, Paul Bunyan, Billy Mays, Jim Henson, George Washington Carver, Zach Galifianakis, Bill Murray, Macho Man Randy Savage, and many more.
by BeardedBadFish February 20, 2010
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The best solution to any problem. A sort of spiritual band-aid that's only effective when used by men.
Dude, my girlfriend dumped me, but I grew this beard and now I feel great!
by sweatervest December 4, 2009
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A condition that causes hair to grow from the chin and lower face. Symptoms include itching, divinity and gratuitous awesomeness.

Synonyms include: Jesus.
Oh Lord! Bless us and our kin with thy Beard and help our facial hair achieve but a portion of thine Beardly glory.
by Brahmes Christus March 24, 2011
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A common word used to address a homosexual's female friend who he takes around town; he normally calls this companion his "girlfriend" to prove to the world that he is a masculine, football watching, titty grabbing heterosexual male. Although, he may think that this so called 'image' is working, he's actually fooling himself. It's completely obvious to on-lookers that he is a flamboyant homo. Gayer than a chihuahua in pink shades.

Here are some warning signs that you may be a beard...

1. He wears more makeup than you.
2. He looks fucking FIERCE in pictures 'cause he smiles wit' his eyes.
3. Uses bronzer as blush
4. Plucks his own eyebrows and his eyebrows look more groomed than yours.
5. Stands with hands on his hips.
Who the hell does Gayfron think that he is fooling? We all know that Vanessa Hudgens is his beard.

Have you ever watched Sunset Tan? Nick's beard sort of looks like a tranny.
by Sharkie Sharks September 10, 2007
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Something that is totally awesome, leet, super-cool, ragenomic, or otherwise excellent.
Guy # 1 : Im fockin hungry

Guy #2: Hey, want to go to get some subs?

Guy #1 : That would be totally bearded, bro
by Mike Hackett May 14, 2008
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A woman who is being used to hide a man’s true affections for another woman or man.
“Max is so over Celeste, look at him with Jasmine. He’s really into her, isn’t he?”

“You haven’t been paying attention, he’s been watching Celeste all night. Jasmine is just his beard to make it look like he’s over her but it’s so obvious he’s trying to make her jealous.”
by Vasper November 26, 2020
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