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Wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole 

Wouldn’t touch it with a bargepole is an expression indicating extreme dislike and distaste for an object, person or situation. The expression can be used in a similar way to wouldn’t touch her with a 10 foot pole, but is not solely applicable to females; it is even more disparaging when used about a female as it treats her as something less than human. Many bargepoles were 12 or 13 feet long, but one specialised type called a setting boom could be as long as 28 feet! So as you can imagine, wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole means something which you would much rather keep well away from.
“Mate, you want to avoid that one; I wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole!”
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wouldn't you know who won the pony

refers to the story told by Jim Cornette when a local wrestling promoter , faced with declining attendance , rigged a lottery to give a way a pony so his son won it , so we did not lose money on the deal . As a result anything is is obviously rigged is referred to as wouldn't you know who won the pony .
Billy got picked to be hall monitor again .
Well Wouldn't you know who won the pony

wouldn't fuck her with your dick 

a girl so ugly or skanky that you wouldn't fuck her with someone else's dick let alone your meat.
Look at that crack-whore. I wouldn't fuck her with your dick!

Wouldn't you know who won the pony

Implies that the previously stated is rigged; local wrestling promoter, as told by Jim Cornette, gave away a pony to increase ticket sales and, to avoid losing money, rigged the raffle to ensure his son would win the pony
Of course, that asshole was late again!
Oh, wouldn't you know who won the pony!

wouldn't've'e'er

A contraction of would not have ever
1. I wouldn't've'e'er creampied her if I knew she was going to get pregnant.
wouldn't've'e'er by Takamura_Drummer December 14, 2010

Wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole 

A female that is repulsively skanky/ugly.
Not only would you never sleep with her, being 10 feet away is still too close.
"I wouldn't touch that slut with a 10 foot pole, unless I was smashing her over the head with it."

wouldn't've 

contraction for would not have
i hella wouldn't've expected that thug to be a poet in his spare time.
wouldn't've by bradf0rd December 3, 2004