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Will Downes 

Blonde, blue eyed, categorically conservative.
He has lots of materialistic items worth silly money, but it doesn’t count as he got them as “Christmas presents”. He has few requirements in life, the importance of which falls in this order, sex, items personalised with his initials, no responsibility.
Man: hey Will your car just got stolen!
Will Downes: doesn’t matter I’ll just get another, plus I need to go shag
Man: but how can you afford another!
Will Downes: I don’t know about costs I just get things for Christmas *laughs in single child*
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