Wigan Athletic
1. Identity theft.
2. To wrongfully appropriate the identity of a third party.
3. Faeces.
Wigan Athletic were founded in 1932 making them one of the youngest teams competing in the English Football League.
Shortly after the decision was made to found a professional football team in the town of Wigan those responsible for the creation of the club began to construct an 'identity'.
Unhappy with simply calling the club Wigan F.C. the founders cast their eyes to the other side of Lancashire towards Oldham Athletic, who had already been playing association football for 37 years. Liking the appendage 'Athletic', the founders duly went with it thus creating 'Wigan Athletic'.
It then dawned on the mostly inbred founders that a nickname for the club was required. "Oi, woz Oldham's nickname?" they were heard to grunt. Before long the question was answered that Oldham used the then unique nickname: 'The Latics'. Having already stolen the appendage 'Athletic' the simple founders decided it was best to also call themselves 'The Latics' rather than rack their primitive brains for an alternative.
Finally, what colours to play in? By this stage the founders of 'Wigan Athletic' were weary having spent weeks learning how to spell 'Athletic', stopping only to fellate their cousins. Naturally they couldn't decide and so looked once more at their proud neighbours Oldham, playing in their fantastic blue and white and opted for the same. Incredibly one of the founders, it has been documented, then heaved and spat the words, "Put a bit o' green in't kit so wi luke a bit t'original like." The exertion of such a brainstorm caused this founder to become catatonic and he later died.
2. To wrongfully appropriate the identity of a third party.
3. Faeces.
Wigan Athletic were founded in 1932 making them one of the youngest teams competing in the English Football League.
Shortly after the decision was made to found a professional football team in the town of Wigan those responsible for the creation of the club began to construct an 'identity'.
Unhappy with simply calling the club Wigan F.C. the founders cast their eyes to the other side of Lancashire towards Oldham Athletic, who had already been playing association football for 37 years. Liking the appendage 'Athletic', the founders duly went with it thus creating 'Wigan Athletic'.
It then dawned on the mostly inbred founders that a nickname for the club was required. "Oi, woz Oldham's nickname?" they were heard to grunt. Before long the question was answered that Oldham used the then unique nickname: 'The Latics'. Having already stolen the appendage 'Athletic' the simple founders decided it was best to also call themselves 'The Latics' rather than rack their primitive brains for an alternative.
Finally, what colours to play in? By this stage the founders of 'Wigan Athletic' were weary having spent weeks learning how to spell 'Athletic', stopping only to fellate their cousins. Naturally they couldn't decide and so looked once more at their proud neighbours Oldham, playing in their fantastic blue and white and opted for the same. Incredibly one of the founders, it has been documented, then heaved and spat the words, "Put a bit o' green in't kit so wi luke a bit t'original like." The exertion of such a brainstorm caused this founder to become catatonic and he later died.
"Hey Mike, I've just found someone's bank statement! I'm going to absolutely Wigan Athletic them.."
"Have you seen the way Jane Wigan Athletic's Bernadette's style?"
"Right, who left that massive Wigan Athletic in the toilet?"
"Have you seen the way Jane Wigan Athletic's Bernadette's style?"
"Right, who left that massive Wigan Athletic in the toilet?"
Wigan Athletic by MacOAFC January 30, 2009
