An unincorporated area in Montgomery County, MD. The Latin hood of Montgomery County. Home to as many Salvadorean restaurants as a town in El Salvador. No one speaks English and it is proper to urinate on the sidewalk in broad daylight. A small 3 bedroom house will have 12 people living in it. Has trashy ghetto dangerous small nightclubs. Has the longest escalator in the Western Hemisphere at the Wheaton Metro station. Home of Wheaton High School, the worst nastiest school in Montgomery County by a huge margin where you'll see more pregnant girls than honor students. If not for Langley Park it'd be the worst third world pit in the DC suburbs.
Tom: hey wanna go to Wheaton later?
Larry: why the hell would I want to do that?
Tom: we gonna go buy some weed at the park and bring back some ghetto bitches who will get down for $10.
Larry: o tru.
by Blasto the Wonder Dog November 20, 2011
Out of all the affluent cities in DuPage, Wheaton is where it is at if you got money and "jesus love". More churches per square mile than any other city in america. Recently a law was made so that no more banks are put up, as wheaton is truly a town of churches and banks. Wheaton is a complete bubble. Kids grow up as golden children in a community where nothing seems to go wrong. An average looking house still costs $700,000. Kids at Wheaton High Schools are all mostly and flaunt designer trends and tend to ignore the less wealthy kids, yet like to think they are humble. On the weekends they drink and party at eachothers houses and are usually very secretive about it because if one parent finds out, the whole town will know. North gets a few kids from carol stream as south gets some from warrenville, and you can tell these kids are really not from wheaton and thus do not belong in the wheaton high school. They also refer to the kids in the ESL hallway as "cholos" no matter their ethnicity. Most kids are snobby, while thinking that they are great people- yet many do give back to the community. Everyone knows some of the really churchy peopel are weird. Wheaton kids fit in great with those from Glenbard West and Naperville Centreal, yet do not associate with kids from West Chicago or Glenbard North. Most do not have jobs and focus on athletics and academics, where both Wheaton high schools are elite. Wheaton North High School ranked in the 2007 top .25% of USA high schools. People ignore the nearby Stratford Square Mall in Carol Stream as if it is a junkyard and head to Oakbrook. Kids under 15 years old are not usually allowed by parents to travel to away high school sports games if they are at West Chicago, Glenbard North or West Aurora, because of the threat of getting mugged or shot. Their parents are just as ignorant and snobby as them. Being a christian is just one way as a business man to climb the Wheaton Corporate ladder. Wheaton Public High Schools are more academically elite than the private schools (st. francis & wheaton academy). Like any wheaton parent will say, they chose to live in wheaton to raise their family right. "Wheaton is a lifestyle"
Wheatonite 1: "MTV should make a show about kids in wheaton, im sick of laguna, me and all my friends are all way better looking than those kids"

Wheatonite 2: "Yeah we have better drama, money, and we are way better looking!"

Pastor: "MTV advertises sin!"
by Corey Sante December 26, 2007
Wheaton is a small town commonly referred to as “weedtown” home of the Hicks, druggies, and the quiet kids who appear as school shooters. Ninety percent of the students juul and there’s a fight every other week. Common activities in this town is the following: driving, smoking pot, and road hunting.
Hey man you wanna go to the movies? Nah it’s Wheaton let’s just drive.
by Robins shop class November 26, 2019
A town in Illinois, known for having the most churches per square mile than any other town in the United States. The people here are Christian for the most part, and religion is a big part of their lives. While many of the people are well-off to completely wealthy, they tend to be nice and helpful people as well, and not pretentious douche bags like they're thought to be. The guys are very gentleman-like, and the girls are also really nice. Wheaton is fairly sheltered, and a good place to raise children. The schools are split into Wheaton North and Wheaton South, which have a strong rivalry against each other, bordering on full-on hate. The sports here are fairly good, and sports are also a big part of everyone's lives.
Wheaton is a great town full of generally friendly and helpful people.
by Annie_O May 2, 2011
Probably one of the best suburbs of chicago ever. The people there are all super cool & is wayy better than Glen Ellyn. Home Of The Best Concert venue ever...The Wheaton Grand Theatre.
Hey wanna go DT wheaton tonight?
yea who's playin?
by sceneslut July 18, 2006
Wheaton: a some what large suburb or Chicago, holds the record for the most churches per square mile in the united states. MOst people in wheaton are stuck up and moderatly wealthy, while the girls of the town have nothing better to do then cause drama. But their are a few select kids from wheaton warrenvill south high school as well as wheaton north highschool that do not fit this description. On the weekends kids in wheaton enjoy sitting around in parking lots while being drunk and or high. If this does not amuse then they will resort back to their favorite past time getting in fight after fight with Glembard south kids.In summerary there are a select few that no how to get down and party in wheaton, while the rest are tight assed bible banging rich snobs!
person A: excuse me but u live in wheaton right?
person B: yes, why?
person A: can i barrow your bible for a second i want to look something up.
person B: yes, of course u can.( pulls bible out of back pocket)
by bobby dizzle August 3, 2005
1. a suburb of Chicago
2. a city superior to all its surrounding cities (Naperville, Glen Ellyn, Lombard, Carol Stream, any other worthless city that can't live up to what is Wheaton)
3. a place to learn, not necessarily party (residents can read and write...that's more than other nearby cities can boast...Aurora, Lombard, Carol Stream, Glen Ellyn)
4. a place free of dangerous minorities (for the most part)
5. a city that revolves around the Lord, athletics, and white people
Do you want to go the Fox Valley Mall?
-No, let's just stay in Wheaton today. There are too many dangerous minorities there.

Did you hear about the party in Lombard tonight?
-Yeah, but I'd rather stay in Wheaton where I know my ass-hole is safe from penetration.
by wheatonowns March 12, 2006